Officials and Divine Appointments

 Our family with our adoption agency's president, Ms. Wu.

 The delegates enjoying taking pictures of our children. LOL!  They had them posing, some were more cooperative than others.  But with six kids it's hard to get everyone looking the same direction with 4+ cameras flashing :)

 Lolipop with the Vice Director of her former orphanage.

 Lolipop with the director of the nannies at the orphanage.

Our family, the agency's waiting child staff, and all five Chinese delegates!  There is the Vice Director (and I now have her card), the director of the nannies and the three men are civil affair officials.

God ordained that I picked up five gifts (2 of one kind and three of another), I could have never known before we got there!!!

We left at 6:30 in the morning and got back at 10:30 at night, but so worth it!  And the kids were GREAT the whole day!

It was such a great day, I considered moving to Austin... and then we got stuck in traffic...

We began our time in Austin with a chance to speak to a couple of moms at a Chick-fil-A about adoption.  I thought we were there to eat, but God had different plans.  One approached us with, "how many kids do you have?".  It was a great opportunity to tell her how God had grown our family (briefly).  Her friend came out of the playroom and chatted as well.  Apparently they both homeschool and had both thought about adoption already.  When they noticed Lolipop's cast, we were able to lead into special needs adoption!  Wow!  Never thought our lunch could turn into a chance for advocacy! (I was sleep deprived after all :))

To Meet or not to Meet, THAT is the ?

While I was out tending to M&M's OT/ST and doing our once a month shopping, we got a phone call AND Mr. Incredible remembered to tell me about it (a small miracle in itself as that doesn't always happen).  Now everyday we get many phone calls, some of them are even not solicitors.  :)  So now we have a decision to make.  After our instant, unplanned run to Dallas on Thursday, I am kind of inclined to say 'no'.  But then I have to look beyond my wants to the awesome opportunity...  We didn't visit Lollipop's orphanage in China, the all day trip and $$$ were just not something that we were willing/able to handle.  Late last year the director of her orphanage was in the USA, visited our adoption agency and specifically wanted to know how Lollipop was doing, apparently asking our agency several times about her.  LOL  (I'm not the only one who asks repeatedly for something!)  So within minutes of the request of me, I sent pictures and a brief update (in addition to the post placement report).  Doesn't that make you think I just have oodles of extra time!  LOL!

NOW a whole delegation from her orphanage is in the USA and want to MEET Lollipop's family!!!!  They will be in Austin Wednesday.  ...Well not what I had planned, but we don't have any appointments and if Mr. Incredible can get someone to cover, he could go with us too because I don't really see how taking six kids by myself for the 5 hour drive (each way) is humanly possible while still recovering from being sick for the last week and being able to keep up with the rest of next week and not collapse.  aaaahhhhhhhh, deep breaths.....  A Chinese delegation wanting to meet OUR FAMILY (not just see Lollipop).  This #1 causes some excitement and anxiety, #2 it makes me curious as to why, #3 I want to ask "WHY, DIDN'T YOU tell US she had fractured an additional SIX TIMES in a YEAR!!!!!".  (deep breaths, again)  I so desperately want to know, but on the other hand, DOES IT MATTER?!?!  She is my daughter.   Whether there was intentional omission of pertinent information or unintentional omission, I cannot change it.  We are where we are.  She is our daughter.  A little sister.  A big sister.  A member of our family.  Cherished.  Loved.  Wanted.  Not Abandoned.  She is home.

In reality I think the officials really care how she is (even if they didn't disclose about the additional fractures) and want to make sure she is doing well.  Or maybe they want to meet the crazy people that would adopt a child that breaks every third month?! ;-)  For whatever reason they want to meet.  I think we will make the journey (try to enjoy the drive) and enjoy getting to meet people who have known our daughter longer than we have.  (head shaking, still a strange concept to grasp) 

....and I think I have the PERFECT outfit for her to wear, all pink!

Little Things

Today I am thankful for the little things.

-getting math, spelling and handwriting done with the younger boys (been a couple of weeks for that)

-a cleaner kitchen, not my standard of clean yet, but the weekend pile up is slowly being beaten back :)

-the ability to breathe, it was a struggle yesterday

-possible hairline fractures, it's only a possible and it's on a non weight bearing bone

-umbrellas in the midst of a downpour


-phone, to call the specialist to tell them what is going on

-doctors who care

-electricity, to power the internet for research 

-books, fun, educational or somehow both

-food, now I just need to cook some for dinner!

-smiles

-hugs and kisses

-vacuums

-rainy days that dissipate the heat, april 2nd and still the air is not on!!! yeah!

Each day is filled with blessing and today I am choosing to relish each one.

Sick

I've cared for kids with runny noses for the past week and a half.  Yesterday, the bug got me.  Stuffy nose, sore throat, body ache.  When I go down, I go down!  Nobody had it THIS bad.
I love my kids.  I love my parents.  And when I'm sick, I love that my parents can 'do' the kids appointments... Ah, time to go back to the couch and sleep with one eye open. :)

Impact Zambia

Not everyone can adopt, but everyone can do something. Could you do this?...

Join us to IMPACT lives in Zambia...   

    

"Hi.  My name is Richard.  I am in grade 7.  I stay with my sister, Josephine.  I have three brothers and two sisters.  My other sister attends Lifesong and is in grade 5.  Her name is Emelia.  My mother stays in a village far away.  My father died in 2006.  Thank you for supporting me and may God bless you and add more days to your life.  My favorite subject is art."

Richard is just ONE of the 253 students that we are blessed to serve at Lifesong Zambia.  He is also one of the students that will be moving on to grade 8 this fall.  

Without the construction of new classrooms, Richard may join the 95% of Zambian children that are not able to attend High School. 

Will you join us in impacting the lives of children like Richard?

To add to the excitement--thanks to a generous donor, all donations will be matched up to $225,000!!

  

To join the Impact Zambia 100 team, email info@lifesongfororphans.org!

If you decide to join Impact Zambia, please mention that you heard about it from me, Jennifer Poorman.

Things Left Unthought

I used to be a planner.  Then this strange thing happened.  We started fostering and I learned our plans could change overnight.  I still planned, but learned to expect surprises occasionally and live with them.  But, we still had a five year plan and even discussed a 20 year plan.  I didn't have everything mapped out, but knew the general course and how to get there.  As more children and more 'abilities' have come into our family it is amazing that I no longer plan years out, months out, or weeks out.  Less than a year ago I could still plan months in advance and still sort of do.  We have appointments months from now on the calendar, and a family vacation might happen in September, but our life? 

We live moment to moment.  We never know when the next break will happen.  We never know when the breakdown will occur.  It would be nice to be able to live week by week or day by day, but then where would my dependence on God be?  Sometimes Mr. Incredible and I still talk about a five year plan, but usually end up off on some rabbit trail about the present (we no longer even think about a 20 year plan).  See if we live in the moment it makes it easier to handle all that comes our way.  If I stop and think about what all a typical day entails and all the stress that is ever present, it's easy to be overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of stuff to do. Overwhelmed at the complexities of life with children who have such different abilities.  Overwhelmed that God thinks I am the best mother for our children because I feel like such a failure.

I used to be a perfectionist.  Then God gave me my husband. Then son #1.  Then son #2.  8 foster placements.  Son #3.  Son #4....  Past: son #1 could pick up his toys at 9 months old (I have video to prove it).  And I thought that made me a 'good parent'!  Now: son #3 might remember to put his clothes on without them facing backwards.  And I don't care what way the clothes are facing as long as he is dressed!  I also now do not consider my children's actions or lack thereof as a reflection of me or my parenting ability. Very Freeing.  My house may not be as clean as I would prefer, but why stress about the floors because I know that M&M will find mud to play in everyday whether it's raining or not and a little dirt on the floor is not a trip hazard.

I used to take many things for granted.  Walking.  Now I thank God when Lolipop walks with her walker.  I pray when she stands without her walker or support.  I prayed and tried not to cringe today when she started to walk without her walker, arms flailing as she showed me just how much of a 'big girl' she was.  The spica cast is still fresh in my memory and if sitting down hard could break her femur, I try not to think what falling could do...

I try not to think about about what a fall would do because I know exactly what a fall would do.  Sitting, leaning, and walking have all caused her to fracture.  What if she falls?  What if someone drops her?  What if a child collides into her?  What if she's in a car collision? If I live outside of the moment these underlying stresses suddenly rush in on me. (especially when we travel and I'm the sole caretaker)  I don't live in denial, but I'm not going to focus on 'what if's' either.  I was recently asked if she has a 'normal life expectancy'.  It's a good question.  To which I don't know the answer.  Some people with OI live 'normal' lives, others are crushed and die during birth.  Though there are varying degrees of OI, there are also varying environments and attitudes.  She has survived losing her birth mother and father, four years in an orphanage and coming to a new continent and learning a new language!  ...What is 'normal life expectancy' anyway?  The Bible tells us that none of us are promised tomorrow.  In that light, she has a good a chance as any. 

I used to think you only had to have faith for the 'big' things.  Now I need faith for all things because every day is an adventure.  Kind of funny that her middle name is Faith... What a reminder!  As for the rest... We walk by faith, not by sight and some thoughts are just better left unthought.

One Tough Cookie

Early last week I noticed that Lolipop was favoring her left arm.  She never said it hurt.  Thursday I checked her grip and palpitated her forearm because she continued to favor it.  Her grip was less than her right hands and she complained that it hurt when I touched the area of a previous fracture.  Once you break a bone the area can continue to be painful with weather changes, as you grow, etc.  Wanting to be sure that it wasn't a fracture we went to get x-rays Friday (well that didn't happen, long, long story) and so this afternoon Lolipop and I ran to the ortho.  Yep, it's fractured.  Her left radius is fractured and separated, but it's not acute and if you didn't see the ace bandage that the ortho sent us home with would you even guess?!

 

We will be headed back to Dallas at some point later this week to see her orthopedic specialist.

Equipped or Called?

God Doesn't Call the Equipped, but EQUIPS the CALLED!!!!

That is how my life has been playing out lately. (sorry the posts have been so sporadic) My entire day is consumed with children, school, teaching to walk again, potty training (or at least talking about it :)), behavior management, carting to appointments...

January my medical mileage was 82% of the mileage in our Odyssey. February it was 75%. That is A LOT of doctor runs.

If you had asked me a year ago, before we got Lollipop if I was prepared I would have said, 'I think so, at least as best as I can be'.

Little did I know. LOL!

I was NOWHERE near prepared for the daily stress. I am a total flop at menu planning because my brain is constantly thinking about appointments, kids, school...and we don't even do anything extra curricular other than piano. I wake up everyday crying out to God to get us through another day (preferably without fractures) because I am tired, I hurt, have a headache, feel lousy OR even at dark thirty a child has made it clear that it will be a challenging day.

I do not feel equipped.  But, God did call us to adopt.  I am so thankful that HE equips those HE calls.  He doesn't give us everything we need at once, because then we might be too overwhelmed.  He gives us HIS GRACE to face challenges as we need it, cry out for it, intercede. 

I often hear from people how they couldn't do what I do.  You know what?  I can't do it either.  But through GOD ALL THINGS are possible.  I may not be as well equipped as I thought, but God has called our family to minister to those in need of families and those he calls he equips.

Homeschooling

And I just thought...

we were busy before, that life couldn't get any crazier, that I was tired... (pick one, it applies)  The saga continues at our house.

We headed to Dallas yesterday morning (second trip for Lollipop and I within a week) for a business meeting and a dental clearance.  Well even though I've fielded somewhere around 20 phone calls this morning I am still unsure if we have a dental clearance, and we are headed back to Dallas tomorrow (or tonight)...  What?!? 

Lollipop's local dentist cannot get her in any sooner than her already scheduled appointments in April for her fillings, but SR can get her in tomorrow.  We know she has a high pain tolerance and for her to cry because of the pain that the one cavity is causing is just unacceptable.  She's been through so much already and we still have so far to go where walking is concerned.  Sooo...  I will drink coffee, pray for strength, set up sitters, back up plans and go!  Our helper is out sick today, I need to get ready for our third trip to Dallas within a week and we have doctor appointments, upon doctor appointments.  But hopefully by the end of Thursday we will have three fillings/cap for Lollipop, new ear pieces for Little Mama's hearing aids, T's breathing distresses will be identified and situated.  Wow!  That's a lot to accomplish between 8:30 am Wednesday and 3:30 Thursday! (especially on top of everything else -school, counseling, piano lessons) :)  However God is God of the impossible.  He is our Sustainer.  Our Hope.  Our Strength.  Our???... Mine!  My Rock in our ever shifting schedule.  My Energy on long drives.  My Comfort when I feel pushed beyond my limits. 

HE is limitless.  He IS LOVE.
 

All In Stride

I had no idea how appropriate the devo on self pity would be for today.  When I read it this morning, I was planning a regular Thursday.  Busy, but doable.  So in Jesus Calling today was about running the race before us with endurance and not letting self pity take over because of our challenging circumstances.  He is with us every step.

I planned today on:
-school
-counseling
-piano lessons

How it really went down:
-wake up to T asking for a breathing treatment
-phone calls changing L's appointment to sooner date and aligning with Mr. Incredible's trip to D
-call to doctor's office for sick visit, T is warm, coughing, not looking good
-phone calls to see availability of changing a meeting date/time that sooner D appt will cause us to miss
-emails to individuals to let the know status of the meeting
-T needs another breathing treatment (last was less than three hours ago)

-find out Mr. Incredible needing to go out of town today, I will need to pack his stuff and meet to give suitcase, assuming we aren't heading to the hospital with T.
-doctor's appointment with EVERYONE except Little Mama
-send some kids with Mr. Incredible to drop off at next appointments (he takes suitcase too)
-finally see the doc (hour+ waiting, not our regular, she's on vacation).  T gets another breathing treatment because doc can't hear lungs due to tightness and wheezing (last was less than 2 hours before).  Asthmatic episode, treat at home.
-Mr. Incredible gets on plane and goes far, far away
-samples for 2x day inhaler, script for oral steriods, use xopenex every 4-6 hours (ha!)
-pick up kids from counseling, piano and pick up script. (3 stops)
-need gas (light is not on yet, but it will be soon) stop for gas
-T starts vomiting in the car, nothing to catch it in, no paper towels...
-pick up Little Mama from school (15 minutes early, but I gotta get T home, car beginning to smell)
-clean up the car (J-daddy helped some)
-Z fixes lunch and we all eat (it's 2:30, but the kid's snacked during our running)
-T needs another breathing treatment
-phone calls for setting up follow up visits for L's specialist
-phone calls for letting grandparents know T is ok

and that's just the highlights of what happened from 7 to 3 today.  T is resting, some coughing, but has almost made 3 hours from his last breathing treatment and since she said every 4-6 hours...

Mr. Incredible spent Monday night in Chicago on business.  I spent Tuesday night in Dallas with Lollipop.  We did have last night 'together', if you count me being exhausted, grouchy and going to bed and him staying up working as "quality time".  Tonight he's in Green Bay and me? I'm thinking about curling up with a laptop and watching something or maybe just passing out from exhaustion.  At some point I'll see Mr. Incredible again, in the meantime I can remember his quip at the doctor's office while we were talking about our current schedule.  In a moment of tender nearness as a child lay on an exam table with labored breathing, Lollipop was settled in a stroller and three huddled around a game on my phone, all of us in a 10x10 room and no seats left for him or I to sit.  He leans in and whispers, "I am here now I made his conception (nodding towards T)"  My whispered retort was, "You didn't make the last three [conceptions]."  He smiles and quips, "Some people use prophylatics, we use absence."  I busted out laughing, which of course drew the kids attention.  Ah, the joy of adoption bringing levity.  But if he has to travel and we keep going through these challenges, it's nice to learn to take things in stride, keep our chin up and be able to laugh.

Quick Update

The SPICA is OFF!!!

She is very weak and has to relearn how to walk.  She gets tired sitting for a period of an hour and has to lay down.  We have a very long way to go.  She will likely limp for 6-12 months (once we are walking) according to the doc.  The callous that formed around the fracture can be felt under her skin- it's HUGE.  I'm slightly concerned with that...  She does show a genetic collagen mutation now.  We have NOT been able to start the medication yet.  We go back on the 27th for more and hopefully can get clearance to start medication.

Meanwhile, we may have to cancel piano and counseling today since another child is not breathing well and we are headed to the doc for him in a few minutes.  He's going down fast.

Other stuff happening today too...

God is at work.  I know this.  But today is the kind of hang on tight, brace yourself, don't let go and keep your mouth closed so you don't get a bug down your throat or stuck in your teeth faced paced, we are at the races kind of day.

9 weeks

It has been 9 weeks since Lollipop broke her femur and was put in a SPICA cast. 9 weeks of counting each day. 9 weeks.

Today we will hopefully get the cast off. We picked out a pink outfit and pretty pink panties for the occasion. (for her :)) Hopefully... Hoping... Praying... Desperately needing...

Where I Belong

What a reminder!

Breathe

Just breathe.

Trust God in the storm.

His promises are true and he won't forsake you.

In all things give thanks.  ALL things.

God will provide.

He knows.

Psalm 103

    Of David. ¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
 ⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed.
 ⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
   his deeds to the people of Israel:
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass,
   he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children—
¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
   and remember to obey his precepts.
 ¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
   and his kingdom rules over all.
 ²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his bidding,
   who obey his word.
²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
   you his servants who do his will.
²² Praise the LORD, all his works
   everywhere in his dominion.
   Praise the LORD, O my soul.

(NIV 1984) emphasis mine.

Amen

I will not detail our week, our struggles, battles or loss of life (livestock).  First, the mere thought of trying to remember the week brings tears to my eyes.  Secondly, I am too exhausted to compile the novel it would require.  But I am happy.  Not because of some circumstance or material possession.  My happiness is a choice.  A choice to praise, even in the storm.  I know that God must be doing some great work and preparing us for something BIG, for this week to have happened.  I pray for strength in case the storm is not over.  I pray for stamina.  I pray I learn the lesson.  I pray.

Autism

I recently watched a wonderful movie, Temple Grandin.  I highly recommend it.  This movie made me cry, multiple times.  In sympathy for the mom, in empathy for the child (or maybe that's reversed?), in the hope it raised for one of my children, and in the fact of all we go through (on a daily basis).

I told his counselor last week that maybe I needed a counselor for me.  It's been five months of daily rages, ever since family vacation.  I am worn.  We have had good days, but no consecutive good days and only about five of them in the last five months.  The counselor is so sweet and was such an encouragement.  She told me I was a good mom!  I know this in my heart, but when a child rages at you and says hateful things, it sometimes gets forgotten.  For the most part he really is good.  It's his impulse control problems that get him into trouble (many times a day).  As he is aging he is also becoming more aware of adoption and is trying to process that and what it means to him.  It has come up numerous times in the last few months.  (talking about that is a whole other post)  Daily, it's hearing that I don't love him because____ (I asked him to get dressed, eat his breakfast, not jump on the bean bag, come inside, stop throwing things at the chickens, do his chores, brush his teeth...).  You name it, I've probably "not loved" him because I asked him to do/not do it.

Sensory issues- sounds, touch (especially clothing/shoes), eye contact, tippy toe walking, food texture.  These are our current areas of  issue as well.  As well as certain foods causing an exacerbation of certain behaviors.  Change.  Schedule changes, changes in routine all can cause issues.  The thing we have found that calms him down is joint compressions and 'scratchies' (rubbing, especially his back, with your fingertips quickly).  Now getting him to hold still if he is really at it is a whole other story...

It's in these hard times that my strength is not my own.  I want him to not have these struggles for his sake.  And I will selfishly say I want him to not have these struggles for MY sake.  But as I told M&M today, God thinks I am the best mommy for the job.  (I just sure hope God knows what HE's doing!)  Even in this, God is at work.  Helping me know who I am in HIM and helping me become the best mommy for my M&M.

So if your child struggles with sensory issues, autism, pdd or just any sort of daily special need, watch Temple Grandin.  It is an encouragement.

Really?!

We waited most of last year to get over half our tax return because of our adoption in 2009.  It cost us over $75 in long distance to fax in the additional 'required information'.  And yes, it had to be faxed.  The fax just took forever to go through because there is only one fax line for the IRS (or at least for those in the state of Texas).  We would get two identical letters, each in duplicate (that means quadruplicate!), every time that there was a delay, and another delay and another and another.  Finally when our refund arrived it was slightly more than we expected.  Concluding the extra was interest for the amount the IRS held onto for the additional seven months of processing, we deposited it and went on, grateful to finally be done with 2010 taxes.  The interest came to about 1.5% of the amount that we were due.  Today a 2011 interest earned statement came from the IRS.  Yep, they are going to charge us tax on the interest that they paid us because it took them so long to get their act together.  And the interest we earned was LESS than the cost of the fax!  All I can say is, REALLY?!?!

Sorry for venting.  I just know this or similar has happened to many adoptive families.  How sad.  We have enough adjustments to make without our taxes taking up as much time as a part time job.

Sanity???

Romans 12:2 (NIV)
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalms 105:4 (NIV)
"Look to the LORD and his strength;
   seek his face always."

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)
"For we live by faith, not by sight"

Psalms 18:29
"With your help I can advance against a troop;
   with my God I can scale a wall."

Psalms 91:11-12 (AMP)
"For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].    They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone."

The last five months have been rough.  Lately though it's been even rougher and tougher.  But, God has a plan in all of this.   

I NEED to renew my mind, live by FAITH and ALWAYS seek him. 

He doesn't want me conformed to anything but HIM. 

He will preserve me (and that includes my sanity).

I may feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, over my head, but NOTHING overwhelms God.  There is NOTHING he is incapable of doing.  He is MASTER of everything.  He is PEACE. 

HE IS LOVE!  (So when I am running out, I can get more from him)

Thank you Father for renewing my strength, preserving my sanity, for causing me to trust more in you.

Halftime Opportunity

I am not really 'into' football, but I am 'into' adoption.  For those of you who are hosting a Superbowl party the following is a WONDERFUL opportunity to share about adoption!

Find a sharing guide and download the video here.

Happy Birthday, M&M!!!

You are such a blessing and challenge us daily.  You inspire us to seek God constantly.  You are a continual reminder of God's goodness.  We pray that you have a blessed day, not only today, but everyday.   We love you and are so thankful that God made us your family.  Happy Birthday!