Autism

I recently watched a wonderful movie, Temple Grandin.  I highly recommend it.  This movie made me cry, multiple times.  In sympathy for the mom, in empathy for the child (or maybe that's reversed?), in the hope it raised for one of my children, and in the fact of all we go through (on a daily basis).

I told his counselor last week that maybe I needed a counselor for me.  It's been five months of daily rages, ever since family vacation.  I am worn.  We have had good days, but no consecutive good days and only about five of them in the last five months.  The counselor is so sweet and was such an encouragement.  She told me I was a good mom!  I know this in my heart, but when a child rages at you and says hateful things, it sometimes gets forgotten.  For the most part he really is good.  It's his impulse control problems that get him into trouble (many times a day).  As he is aging he is also becoming more aware of adoption and is trying to process that and what it means to him.  It has come up numerous times in the last few months.  (talking about that is a whole other post)  Daily, it's hearing that I don't love him because____ (I asked him to get dressed, eat his breakfast, not jump on the bean bag, come inside, stop throwing things at the chickens, do his chores, brush his teeth...).  You name it, I've probably "not loved" him because I asked him to do/not do it.

Sensory issues- sounds, touch (especially clothing/shoes), eye contact, tippy toe walking, food texture.  These are our current areas of  issue as well.  As well as certain foods causing an exacerbation of certain behaviors.  Change.  Schedule changes, changes in routine all can cause issues.  The thing we have found that calms him down is joint compressions and 'scratchies' (rubbing, especially his back, with your fingertips quickly).  Now getting him to hold still if he is really at it is a whole other story...

It's in these hard times that my strength is not my own.  I want him to not have these struggles for his sake.  And I will selfishly say I want him to not have these struggles for MY sake.  But as I told M&M today, God thinks I am the best mommy for the job.  (I just sure hope God knows what HE's doing!)  Even in this, God is at work.  Helping me know who I am in HIM and helping me become the best mommy for my M&M.

So if your child struggles with sensory issues, autism, pdd or just any sort of daily special need, watch Temple Grandin.  It is an encouragement.