Locking It Up

We tried to go without our little blue pill today, been GF, only one piece of candy on Saturday, that only lasted until 9:30 this morning.  He couldn't do ANY math.  Couldn't sit still.  Couldn't make eye contact.  Wouldn't cooperate.  The list goes on.  Oh what I didn't know!

I would love for him to not need his little blue pill.  We wouldn't be forcing breakfast, eating a little lunch and then becoming famished.  His moods would be consistent, not variable as the medicine wears off.  The amount of sleep he needs has been affected since the dosage increase.  That is to say, he doesn't sleep very much.  He's up until 9 or 10pm easy and is out of bed by 6am.  Everyday.  We would go back to the yellow pill, but it wasn't helping him to be able to concentrate enough to do school...

I thought I was just a failure as a parent.  That maybe I wasn't being consistent enough.  Loved him enough.  Brushed him enough (special brushing technique).  I resigned myself to maybe daily medication was what it is going to take for him to live and experience any measure of success.

While making dinner, we (me and another child) discovered that in the course of two days he's eaten three cookies (at least) there were only nine in the package and an undisclosed amount of M&M's. ~head shaking~
Today is a repeat of so many other days.  Too many to count.

We have tried to teach self control.  We have tried to communicate the need to ask.  We have hid the sweets.  We have not bought sweets.  We have tried, tried, tried...

Mr. Incredible is currently at the store buying a locking door knob for our pantry.  I want a keypad one, but they are over $120.  So we will get just a regular one and I will have to wear the key on one of those stretchy things on my arm like you see a manager at a store have...

I don't even ask God "Why?" anymore.  This wonderful, thought provoking, irrational behaving, blessing of boy that God brought into our family continuously gives me opportunities for growth, humility, gaining of wisdom, migraines, the chance to be less self centered and now to be a little more like a prison warden.  One day, the light will come on for self control, until then I guess we'll keep the food locked up.