we were busy before, that life couldn't get any crazier, that I was tired... (pick one, it applies) The saga continues at our house.
We headed to Dallas yesterday morning (second trip for Lollipop and I within a week) for a business meeting and a dental clearance. Well even though I've fielded somewhere around 20 phone calls this morning I am still unsure if we have a dental clearance, and we are headed back to Dallas tomorrow (or tonight)... What?!?
Lollipop's local dentist cannot get her in any sooner than her already scheduled appointments in April for her fillings, but SR can get her in tomorrow. We know she has a high pain tolerance and for her to cry because of the pain that the one cavity is causing is just unacceptable. She's been through so much already and we still have so far to go where walking is concerned. Sooo... I will drink coffee, pray for strength, set up sitters, back up plans and go! Our helper is out sick today, I need to get ready for our third trip to Dallas within a week and we have doctor appointments, upon doctor appointments. But hopefully by the end of Thursday we will have three fillings/cap for Lollipop, new ear pieces for Little Mama's hearing aids, T's breathing distresses will be identified and situated. Wow! That's a lot to accomplish between 8:30 am Wednesday and 3:30 Thursday! (especially on top of everything else -school, counseling, piano lessons) :) However God is God of the impossible. He is our Sustainer. Our Hope. Our Strength. Our???... Mine! My Rock in our ever shifting schedule. My Energy on long drives. My Comfort when I feel pushed beyond my limits.
HE is limitless. He IS LOVE.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
All In Stride
I had no idea how appropriate the devo on self pity would be for today. When I read it this morning, I was planning a regular Thursday. Busy, but doable. So in Jesus Calling today was about running the race before us with endurance and not letting self pity take over because of our challenging circumstances. He is with us every step.
I planned today on:
-school
-counseling
-piano lessons
How it really went down:
-wake up to T asking for a breathing treatment
-phone calls changing L's appointment to sooner date and aligning with Mr. Incredible's trip to D
-call to doctor's office for sick visit, T is warm, coughing, not looking good
-phone calls to see availability of changing a meeting date/time that sooner D appt will cause us to miss
-emails to individuals to let the know status of the meeting
-T needs another breathing treatment (last was less than three hours ago)
-find out Mr. Incredible needing to go out of town today, I will need to pack his stuff and meet to give suitcase, assuming we aren't heading to the hospital with T.
-doctor's appointment with EVERYONE except Little Mama
-send some kids with Mr. Incredible to drop off at next appointments (he takes suitcase too)
-finally see the doc (hour+ waiting, not our regular, she's on vacation). T gets another breathing treatment because doc can't hear lungs due to tightness and wheezing (last was less than 2 hours before). Asthmatic episode, treat at home.
-Mr. Incredible gets on plane and goes far, far away
-samples for 2x day inhaler, script for oral steriods, use xopenex every 4-6 hours (ha!)
-pick up kids from counseling, piano and pick up script. (3 stops)
-need gas (light is not on yet, but it will be soon) stop for gas
-T starts vomiting in the car, nothing to catch it in, no paper towels...
-pick up Little Mama from school (15 minutes early, but I gotta get T home, car beginning to smell)
-clean up the car (J-daddy helped some)
-Z fixes lunch and we all eat (it's 2:30, but the kid's snacked during our running)
-T needs another breathing treatment
-phone calls for setting up follow up visits for L's specialist
-phone calls for letting grandparents know T is ok
and that's just the highlights of what happened from 7 to 3 today. T is resting, some coughing, but has almost made 3 hours from his last breathing treatment and since she said every 4-6 hours...
Mr. Incredible spent Monday night in Chicago on business. I spent Tuesday night in Dallas with Lollipop. We did have last night 'together', if you count me being exhausted, grouchy and going to bed and him staying up working as "quality time". Tonight he's in Green Bay and me? I'm thinking about curling up with a laptop and watching something or maybe just passing out from exhaustion. At some point I'll see Mr. Incredible again, in the meantime I can remember his quip at the doctor's office while we were talking about our current schedule. In a moment of tender nearness as a child lay on an exam table with labored breathing, Lollipop was settled in a stroller and three huddled around a game on my phone, all of us in a 10x10 room and no seats left for him or I to sit. He leans in and whispers, "I am here now I made his conception (nodding towards T)" My whispered retort was, "You didn't make the last three [conceptions]." He smiles and quips, "Some people use prophylatics, we use absence." I busted out laughing, which of course drew the kids attention. Ah, the joy of adoption bringing levity. But if he has to travel and we keep going through these challenges, it's nice to learn to take things in stride, keep our chin up and be able to laugh.
I planned today on:
-school
-counseling
-piano lessons
How it really went down:
-wake up to T asking for a breathing treatment
-phone calls changing L's appointment to sooner date and aligning with Mr. Incredible's trip to D
-call to doctor's office for sick visit, T is warm, coughing, not looking good
-phone calls to see availability of changing a meeting date/time that sooner D appt will cause us to miss
-emails to individuals to let the know status of the meeting
-T needs another breathing treatment (last was less than three hours ago)
-find out Mr. Incredible needing to go out of town today, I will need to pack his stuff and meet to give suitcase, assuming we aren't heading to the hospital with T.
-doctor's appointment with EVERYONE except Little Mama
-send some kids with Mr. Incredible to drop off at next appointments (he takes suitcase too)
-finally see the doc (hour+ waiting, not our regular, she's on vacation). T gets another breathing treatment because doc can't hear lungs due to tightness and wheezing (last was less than 2 hours before). Asthmatic episode, treat at home.
-Mr. Incredible gets on plane and goes far, far away
-samples for 2x day inhaler, script for oral steriods, use xopenex every 4-6 hours (ha!)
-pick up kids from counseling, piano and pick up script. (3 stops)
-need gas (light is not on yet, but it will be soon) stop for gas
-T starts vomiting in the car, nothing to catch it in, no paper towels...
-pick up Little Mama from school (15 minutes early, but I gotta get T home, car beginning to smell)
-clean up the car (J-daddy helped some)
-Z fixes lunch and we all eat (it's 2:30, but the kid's snacked during our running)
-T needs another breathing treatment
-phone calls for setting up follow up visits for L's specialist
-phone calls for letting grandparents know T is ok
and that's just the highlights of what happened from 7 to 3 today. T is resting, some coughing, but has almost made 3 hours from his last breathing treatment and since she said every 4-6 hours...
Mr. Incredible spent Monday night in Chicago on business. I spent Tuesday night in Dallas with Lollipop. We did have last night 'together', if you count me being exhausted, grouchy and going to bed and him staying up working as "quality time". Tonight he's in Green Bay and me? I'm thinking about curling up with a laptop and watching something or maybe just passing out from exhaustion. At some point I'll see Mr. Incredible again, in the meantime I can remember his quip at the doctor's office while we were talking about our current schedule. In a moment of tender nearness as a child lay on an exam table with labored breathing, Lollipop was settled in a stroller and three huddled around a game on my phone, all of us in a 10x10 room and no seats left for him or I to sit. He leans in and whispers, "I am here now I made his conception (nodding towards T)" My whispered retort was, "You didn't make the last three [conceptions]." He smiles and quips, "Some people use prophylatics, we use absence." I busted out laughing, which of course drew the kids attention. Ah, the joy of adoption bringing levity. But if he has to travel and we keep going through these challenges, it's nice to learn to take things in stride, keep our chin up and be able to laugh.
Quick Update
The SPICA is OFF!!!
She is very weak and has to relearn how to walk. She gets tired sitting for a period of an hour and has to lay down. We have a very long way to go. She will likely limp for 6-12 months (once we are walking) according to the doc. The callous that formed around the fracture can be felt under her skin- it's HUGE. I'm slightly concerned with that... She does show a genetic collagen mutation now. We have NOT been able to start the medication yet. We go back on the 27th for more and hopefully can get clearance to start medication.
Meanwhile, we may have to cancel piano and counseling today since another child is not breathing well and we are headed to the doc for him in a few minutes. He's going down fast.
Other stuff happening today too...
God is at work. I know this. But today is the kind of hang on tight, brace yourself, don't let go and keep your mouth closed so you don't get a bug down your throat or stuck in your teeth faced paced, we are at the races kind of day.
She is very weak and has to relearn how to walk. She gets tired sitting for a period of an hour and has to lay down. We have a very long way to go. She will likely limp for 6-12 months (once we are walking) according to the doc. The callous that formed around the fracture can be felt under her skin- it's HUGE. I'm slightly concerned with that... She does show a genetic collagen mutation now. We have NOT been able to start the medication yet. We go back on the 27th for more and hopefully can get clearance to start medication.
Meanwhile, we may have to cancel piano and counseling today since another child is not breathing well and we are headed to the doc for him in a few minutes. He's going down fast.
Other stuff happening today too...
God is at work. I know this. But today is the kind of hang on tight, brace yourself, don't let go and keep your mouth closed so you don't get a bug down your throat or stuck in your teeth faced paced, we are at the races kind of day.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
9 weeks
It has been 9 weeks since Lollipop broke her femur and was put in a SPICA cast. 9 weeks of counting each day. 9 weeks.
Today we will hopefully get the cast off. We picked out a pink outfit and pretty pink panties for the occasion. (for her :)) Hopefully... Hoping... Praying... Desperately needing...
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Breathe
Just breathe.
Trust God in the storm.
His promises are true and he won't forsake you.
In all things give thanks. ALL things.
God will provide.
He knows.
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
Trust God in the storm.
His promises are true and he won't forsake you.
In all things give thanks. ALL things.
God will provide.
He knows.
Psalm 103
Of David. 1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
(NIV 1984) emphasis mine.
Amen
I will not detail our week, our struggles, battles or loss of life (livestock). First, the mere thought of trying to remember the week brings tears to my eyes. Secondly, I am too exhausted to compile the novel it would require. But I am happy. Not because of some circumstance or material possession. My happiness is a choice. A choice to praise, even in the storm. I know that God must be doing some great work and preparing us for something BIG, for this week to have happened. I pray for strength in case the storm is not over. I pray for stamina. I pray I learn the lesson. I pray.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Autism
I recently watched a wonderful movie, Temple Grandin. I highly recommend it. This movie made me cry, multiple times. In sympathy for the mom, in empathy for the child (or maybe that's reversed?), in the hope it raised for one of my children, and in the fact of all we go through (on a daily basis).
I told his counselor last week that maybe I needed a counselor for me. It's been five months of daily rages, ever since family vacation. I am worn. We have had good days, but no consecutive good days and only about five of them in the last five months. The counselor is so sweet and was such an encouragement. She told me I was a good mom! I know this in my heart, but when a child rages at you and says hateful things, it sometimes gets forgotten. For the most part he really is good. It's his impulse control problems that get him into trouble (many times a day). As he is aging he is also becoming more aware of adoption and is trying to process that and what it means to him. It has come up numerous times in the last few months. (talking about that is a whole other post) Daily, it's hearing that I don't love him because____ (I asked him to get dressed, eat his breakfast, not jump on the bean bag, come inside, stop throwing things at the chickens, do his chores, brush his teeth...). You name it, I've probably "not loved" him because I asked him to do/not do it.
Sensory issues- sounds, touch (especially clothing/shoes), eye contact, tippy toe walking, food texture. These are our current areas of issue as well. As well as certain foods causing an exacerbation of certain behaviors. Change. Schedule changes, changes in routine all can cause issues. The thing we have found that calms him down is joint compressions and 'scratchies' (rubbing, especially his back, with your fingertips quickly). Now getting him to hold still if he is really at it is a whole other story...
It's in these hard times that my strength is not my own. I want him to not have these struggles for his sake. And I will selfishly say I want him to not have these struggles for MY sake. But as I told M&M today, God thinks I am the best mommy for the job. (I just sure hope God knows what HE's doing!) Even in this, God is at work. Helping me know who I am in HIM and helping me become the best mommy for my M&M.
So if your child struggles with sensory issues, autism, pdd or just any sort of daily special need, watch Temple Grandin. It is an encouragement.
I told his counselor last week that maybe I needed a counselor for me. It's been five months of daily rages, ever since family vacation. I am worn. We have had good days, but no consecutive good days and only about five of them in the last five months. The counselor is so sweet and was such an encouragement. She told me I was a good mom! I know this in my heart, but when a child rages at you and says hateful things, it sometimes gets forgotten. For the most part he really is good. It's his impulse control problems that get him into trouble (many times a day). As he is aging he is also becoming more aware of adoption and is trying to process that and what it means to him. It has come up numerous times in the last few months. (talking about that is a whole other post) Daily, it's hearing that I don't love him because____ (I asked him to get dressed, eat his breakfast, not jump on the bean bag, come inside, stop throwing things at the chickens, do his chores, brush his teeth...). You name it, I've probably "not loved" him because I asked him to do/not do it.
Sensory issues- sounds, touch (especially clothing/shoes), eye contact, tippy toe walking, food texture. These are our current areas of issue as well. As well as certain foods causing an exacerbation of certain behaviors. Change. Schedule changes, changes in routine all can cause issues. The thing we have found that calms him down is joint compressions and 'scratchies' (rubbing, especially his back, with your fingertips quickly). Now getting him to hold still if he is really at it is a whole other story...
It's in these hard times that my strength is not my own. I want him to not have these struggles for his sake. And I will selfishly say I want him to not have these struggles for MY sake. But as I told M&M today, God thinks I am the best mommy for the job. (I just sure hope God knows what HE's doing!) Even in this, God is at work. Helping me know who I am in HIM and helping me become the best mommy for my M&M.
So if your child struggles with sensory issues, autism, pdd or just any sort of daily special need, watch Temple Grandin. It is an encouragement.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Really?!
We waited most of last year to get over half our tax return because of our adoption in 2009. It cost us over $75 in long distance to fax in the additional 'required information'. And yes, it had to be faxed. The fax just took forever to go through because there is only one fax line for the IRS (or at least for those in the state of Texas). We would get two identical letters, each in duplicate (that means quadruplicate!), every time that there was a delay, and another delay and another and another. Finally when our refund arrived it was slightly more than we expected. Concluding the extra was interest for the amount the IRS held onto for the additional seven months of processing, we deposited it and went on, grateful to finally be done with 2010 taxes. The interest came to about 1.5% of the amount that we were due. Today a 2011 interest earned statement came from the IRS. Yep, they are going to charge us tax on the interest that they paid us because it took them so long to get their act together. And the interest we earned was LESS than the cost of the fax! All I can say is, REALLY?!?!
Sorry for venting. I just know this or similar has happened to many adoptive families. How sad. We have enough adjustments to make without our taxes taking up as much time as a part time job.
Sorry for venting. I just know this or similar has happened to many adoptive families. How sad. We have enough adjustments to make without our taxes taking up as much time as a part time job.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Sanity???
Romans 12:2 (NIV)
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Psalms 105:4 (NIV)
"Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always."
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)
"For we live by faith, not by sight"
Psalms 18:29
"With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall."
Psalms 91:11-12 (AMP)
"For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service]. They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone."
The last five months have been rough. Lately though it's been even rougher and tougher. But, God has a plan in all of this.
I NEED to renew my mind, live by FAITH and ALWAYS seek him.
He doesn't want me conformed to anything but HIM.
He will preserve me (and that includes my sanity).
I may feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, over my head, but NOTHING overwhelms God. There is NOTHING he is incapable of doing. He is MASTER of everything. He is PEACE.
HE IS LOVE! (So when I am running out, I can get more from him)
Thank you Father for renewing my strength, preserving my sanity, for causing me to trust more in you.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Psalms 105:4 (NIV)
"Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always."
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)
"For we live by faith, not by sight"
Psalms 18:29
"With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall."
Psalms 91:11-12 (AMP)
"For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service]. They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone."
The last five months have been rough. Lately though it's been even rougher and tougher. But, God has a plan in all of this.
I NEED to renew my mind, live by FAITH and ALWAYS seek him.
He doesn't want me conformed to anything but HIM.
He will preserve me (and that includes my sanity).
I may feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, over my head, but NOTHING overwhelms God. There is NOTHING he is incapable of doing. He is MASTER of everything. He is PEACE.
HE IS LOVE! (So when I am running out, I can get more from him)
Thank you Father for renewing my strength, preserving my sanity, for causing me to trust more in you.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Halftime Opportunity
I am not really 'into' football, but I am 'into' adoption. For those of you who are hosting a Superbowl party the following is a WONDERFUL opportunity to share about adoption!
Find a sharing guide and download the video here.
Find a sharing guide and download the video here.
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