Sunday 5/29 and morning of 5/30
We left home at 2am Friday morning. I've been up since 7am Thursday morning. We arrived in China at 9am on Sunday, the equivalent of 8pm on Saturday in Texas. Writing this note, it is 12pm in China on Sunday (11pm Texas) and I have slept approximately 4.75 hours in 1 hour increments since waking up on Thursday, so about 77 hours ( I think :)). If for some reason I don't make sense, now you know why.
We missed our connection in Vancouver due to 1. Boarding the plane was delayed an hour because of broken part, 2. Boarded plane then sat at gate for another hour because same part broke AGAIN (we have no idea what part it was), 3. We left the gate and rolled to the taxi way where we waited another hour (we think our flight plan had expired and never refiled). So our 2 hr 50min. long enough layover in Vancouver ended up being NOT long enough. AA put us up in a hotel room and gave us food vouchers. We were able to use the hotel room for about 8 hours while we waited for our next flight. It was actually very nice to be able to shower and rest in a bed. We have contacted AA about them reimbursing us for the extra expenses, we incurred because of the delay (adoption related), but haven't heard a reply yet.
Once we were on the plane at Shreveport I finally started getting excited about the adoption really happening and going to China. When we were walking around the Vancouver airport trying to find someone to help us rebook I commented to Rick, "Is this God trying to stop us? Or is it Satan at work trying to stop our obedience?" We laughed when he said he was feeling the EXACT same way. For every two steps forward in this adoption it seems that we've then been thrown three steps back (at least since February). Once we landed in China a little of the excitement that I felt in Shreveport came back, but I am still not as excited as with our adoption of Elizabeth (this is as of Monday am in China). This fact scares me. Terrifies me. I want to love Lillyanna and I do love her, but I am having a hard time seeing past the to do list of doctor appointments and how can I hold her and she not break. I feel guilty that I don't feel the same way as I did with Elizabeth's adoption. We are in the same province, have the same guide (staying at a different hotel this time), but I should be happy and I am not. Sunday was her last full day of the life she has known for over four years. She may hate us for taking her away from it. She may scream for hours on end, like a little 6 year old girl that another family adopted in our group when we adopted Elizabeth. She may..., She may..., .... She may love us.
We began this adoption out of obedience to God. We were not looking at adopting a four year old (and the fact that she's older is scary). We were not wanting to add to the list of special needs members of our family have. GF, PDD, RAD, ADHD, LD, hearing impaired, and developmentally delayed are our current ones. Isn't that enough?!? But God doesn't call us to do what is easy. Sometimes the things God wants us to do push us to the brink of our sanity, our physical strength, our emotional capability, so that we can depend on HIM. Lean on HIM for our daily bread, our well being. Trusting HIM for provision and grace and strength. If God loved me enough to die for me, surely I can love HIM enough to show grace, mercy and love to a little girl who has never known the lasting love of a mommy and daddy. HE calls us to care for the least of these. He didn't say care for them only when you have time and it fits in your schedule and it doesn't break your heart or cost a lot of money. He said, whatever you do for one of the least of these, you do for me. THAT is why we are obeying him asking us to adopt Lillyanna.
Matthew 25:37-45
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 18:10-14
“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish."
Sometimes those little sheep are half way around the world.
Just as how each birth is different (at least it was for us) each adoption is different, even if you thought it wouldn't be :)
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