Friday, November 26, 2010

I Am Not The Woman I Used To Be

Thanksgiving seemed like a typical Thanksgiving.  Prep food, eat, nap, etc.  It was when I was headed to the garage to put some shoes to give away that I smelled it.  Tide Stain Lifter.  After further investigation I discovered THREE bottles (I buy on sale with coupons) either upside down and leaking even though they were supposed to be closed or on their side wide open.  That wide open bottle was conveniently located at the crevice betwixt the washer and dryer and the whole top of the dryer was covered in it.  The Tide was also seeping out from under the washer and dryer.  And then I see something dripping out of the cabinet, below where I keep the bleach.  M struck again.  Apparently during nap time/at the end, he decided to "investigate".  I am so thankful that he was not injured and the bleach and Tide did not mix.  I am also thankful that I was able to leave the house to go Black Friday shopping after spending two hours cleaning up the HUGE mess in the laundry room.  Standing in the cold for an hour at T-R-U, 30 minutes shopping then standing 2 hours in the check out line was almost enough time to cool down enough to go to sleep at 2:30 am today.  I let Mr. Incredible handle the disciplinary actions, I knew I would overreact.  The really cool part is I got to meet a mom with a son very similar to M while standing in the cold.  She wants to do the GF diet to help her son, but is struggling.  I hope I was able to be an encouragement to her.

So why the post title?  It's because even just a couple of years ago, I would have screamed at M for wasting the Tide and making a mess (then apologize after I blew up).  Now I wasn't all jolly, I was firm, and he had to stay and watch me clean it up- the first hour. (He didn't clean it up due to the nature of the mess) While cleaning, I talked to him about how the choices he makes affects others, how I loved him and even though I was angry I still loved him and wanted him to be safe, etc. 

A couple other situations also happened recently.  Mr. Incredible and myself were asked if what we had was contagious (adopting kids/having "lots" of kids).  The old me would have become defensive and tried to prove a point or something, but his wife was uncomfortable that he has said something like that so I just left it as, "We like kids!".  Then today, I didn't even flinch an inch when Mr. Incredible bought a TV today at a Black Friday sale.  He's been waiting YEARS for one (and it will be nice to actually be able to see movies now).  I know 32" is by no means a BIG screen tv, but in our house you would think it's as big as a movie theaters!  (and the price was nice :))

In more serious matters though, I am still floored by how God is granting me peace (usually) in the midst of turbulent waters.  We are adopting.  We are trying to buy a new house.  We possibly found a vehicle.  My old ways were to be anxious, calculate, analyze, etc.  I strangely find myself NOT doing those things.  Yes, I know the cost of the adoption. Yes, I know the cost of the house (and I'm a little nervous with financing options).  Yes, I know the cost of the vehicle.  BUT, I also know a BIG GOD who can do BIG THINGS and I am trusting that HE will work this out.  That is freedom.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Hearing Aids and Other Tidbits

Today Elizabeth got physician clearance for getting hearing aids!!!!   I know that that may not sound exciting to some, but it has been what we've been needing for a while now.  So I made a call this afternoon and left a message for a program that might be able to provide free or reduced cost hearing aids.  If that doesn't pan out maybe a check will show up on our mailbox?!  I know we serve a big God and that all things are possible!
We still haven't heard anything on the house that we put a contract in for.  More waiting, praying, hoping and praying.
In other news, our schedule is once again changing as a new occupational therapist will be starting the week after Thanksgiving and cannot work with us at the time slots we currently have.  Our schedule will be changing even more when Elizabeth begins her Pre-K classes in the deaf ed classroom.  Change can be good and it can be maddening!
Upwards was something that we had signed up for (like we needed something else to do!), but I had to call today and withdraw (after much prayer and agony).  We may be out the $$$ or if they can fill our spots we can get a refund.  At this point I really don't care.  God is our provider.  K was going to have weekly practice instead of just Saturday "games".  Jacob wasn't too thrilled about it to begin with and I am tired of sacrificing our Saturdays on the alter of basketball.  I was so impressed this morning during my quite time (aka taking a shower) that we needed to withdraw, I had to call Rick.  I don't know what God has in store for us, but if withdrawing from Upwards shows obedience, I'm all in for a simpler life and less hectic schedule. So, no Upwards!  Instead we are going to have family basketball in the driveway, maybe move to the new house?, and have time to work on things around the house (maybe pack?).  Rick and I have had the same feeling that we will be adopting and moving at pretty much the same time.  Not quite sure how that is going to work.  But God does!  Maybe Upwards would have been a good thing, but not the best thing because God knows what's coming!?
I also know that this adoption is going to pull more out of us than any yet.  It already is.  Needing a new home, needing a new vehicle, mentally trying to prepare ourselves for a four year old that doesn't know English and could break if touched/picked up in the "wrong" way has been a lot to think and pray about.  I find myself lifting Elizabeth and wondering if I picked up little miss the same way would she break?!  Or somebody bumping into something and wondering if we would be rushing to the ER with a broken bone, if it had been little miss.  It has all been a matter of lots of prayer and trust and FAITH! 
There isn't any news on our paperwork.  It made it to the USCIS office and we are awaiting appointments for fingerprinting.  Praying that comes by December 2 or so, however once again God is in control and knows and cares.

7 Habits of a Highly Effective Family, #3 and #4

Habit #3- Put first things first!
We have an illustration of this on our kitchen counter now.  It's a glass jar/vase with big rocks and little rocks.  The point being that if you don't put the big rocks on the schedule- family meals, family nights, date night, etc.- life (the little rocks) are going to fill up your life and you won't have room for the big rocks.  For different families there will be different rocks.  So don't compare yourself to the Jones', do what is right for your family and your time of life.

Habit #4-Think Win-Win
We each have an emotional bank account and our interactions with others either make deposits or withdrawals.   Our words can uplift or tear down, plain and simple.  It can even be the tone of voice that we choose to use that can make the difference between whether we are making a deposit or a withdrawal.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Little Girl Naming

We are currently working on a name for our latest addition.  Tonight I was flipping through the baby naming book we purchased 12 years ago as we were expecting our first.  I never imagined that 12 years later I'd be looking at names for a three year old little girl in China with brittle bones who was going to join our family.  Amazing how God works!
I started perusing our book when we found out about little miss.  I also started looking at online sites.  It's kind of hard going to "baby" naming sites in order to look up meanings and expand the search of names, since she is not a baby and I had to sacrifice my desire of adopting a baby in order to adopt little miss. I know God is working in all of this, but it's still a little hard.  There's also the trouble of our other children have a biblical name or a name derived from a biblical name. Not wanting to break the trend we would like to name her a biblical name, but there aren't that many biblical names that I like that make sense for a little girl from China too boot.
So the debate continues on what first name do we choose, or should I say God has chosen and yet to reveal to us!  We know her first middle name is going to be Faith, since it is taking such a leap of faith on our part to do this.  Her second middle name will be her Chinese name and of course she will have our last name.  The names that are currently in the mix are Lily, Anna, Chloe and Emily (not biblical).  I really would like a name ending in -ly since her Chinese name ends in the "ly"sound.  Mr. Incredible really likes Anna.  I did come up with Lilyana to try to make us both happy, but we still haven't reached any decisions. 
I know we have some time.  God only knows how fast the rest of this will go, but we are thinking we will travel in March given China's expediting our process.  This step of waiting for I-800A approval is supposed to take somewhere between 30-45 days.  We'll see how God works on US Immigration in order to bring little miss home quickly. 
In the meantime, we wait and pray and look for vehicles!

Playing Catch Up

This week has whizzed by and I've been dragging behind all week.  It's so hard to believe that Thanksgiving is next week!  We will once again be spending the holiday in town, by ourselves.  We could travel to Rick's mom's, but don't have the time, energy, etc. for the 17 hour drive each way.  My parents are unavailable due to my dad's work schedule and the remodeling of their home.  I could be grouchy that we are stuck here without family, but instead I am using the chance to count our blessings.
- We have the privilege of having 5 soon to be 6 children
- We have a warm home and good food
- Rick is getting to have a long weekend at home
- Black Friday shopping is just a week away!

We've submitted a contract for a single story home and acreage, we are praying that if God would have this for our family that it will be accepted.  Still searching for a vehicle, but we have some time.  The week after Thanksgiving we will be listing our land to sell. 

Our home study was finally finished this week and I sent the application for immigration approval off yesterday- had to have the home study to submit the application.  Spending the money to overnight the application has hopefully saved us at least $30 since filing fees increase Monday.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Our Homestudy Has Finally Been Approved!

Nothing really more can be said! We are working hard on bringing new little miss home. Working on new blog as well.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Evidence is Overwhelming!!!!!

We got a call from our adoption agency today. The next piece of paperwork that we were needing in order to bring little miss home came today!? I am reeling from shock and awe. God is making it overwhelmingly clear that he wants HER to join our family. Due to the favor that is happening on her and our behalf I am not sharing what came and though we could our agency is asking that we still not post her picture. Yet. The only pieces of the puzzle left before we can bring her home are immigration approval and travel approval. Our God is working MICACLES on behalf of this little girl already. May HE redeem her and make her whole. He is moving MOUNTAINS!!!!

As a quick follow up, the house we thought of pursuing already has four contracts on it. Pray that if this is the house for us God would make it abundantly clear and make necessary PROVISIONS.

Things May Be Quiet Here, But Not At Home!

I've wanted to sit down and write so many times, but have such a hard time finding the time! We are currently praying about a certain house, a certain vehicle, a certain tractor... We are also praying and deliberating on putting Elizabeth in Deaf Ed classes a couple of days a week. Her progress has been so slow and there's the argument that at home she's not around her peer group...

Our homestudy will hopefully be done in a couple of days and we can submit for immigration approval to bring little miss home. I just wish we could get further in the process so that I could post pictures!!

We finally had almost a normal school day yesterday (our normal that is), it was such a blessing after three weeks of pell mell, helter skelterness.

Last but not least. We approaching the season of giving and it would be helpful to bring in some money to help with adoption expenses so I had this idea. I coupon shop, I get things free or almost free when I do this. What do you think of "buying" items, but however instead of me shipping the items to you I can donate them to our local homeless shelter, the women's shelter and the free clinic and the money raised would go straight to our adoption?! Would anyone be even interested in this idea? I don't want to waste my time, I have so little, so if you could PLEASE share your comments this would be greatly appreciated. I would probably use paypal to process the money. Any input in the way of doing some sort of fundraiser would be appreciated. We have considered a garage sale, but our house was taken over with things for the one for Elizabeth's adoption and I don't want that to happen again.

I promise this really is the last thing. Elizabeth has a NEW SKILL! She can climb into a chair now! It's those little things that I had taken for granted before.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mr. Incredible!

I love you honey. May your day be full of blessings. :)

We Survived and Thrived!

The last three weeks have been so challenging, but we made it! For the Children was a success and we had several people outside of the participating agencies come! Thank you so much to all of the volunteers, the childcare workers, with special thanks to Ms. A, Ms. K, Ms. C and Mr. M (not our M) for all that you did and thanks to the attendees! I pray all were blessed and were able to get informed on the topic they chose. Five churches attended the session on how to start a foster/adopt ministry!!!!
Thank you everyone for your prayers. They were felt. Though stressed yesterday, I never got a migraine!!! My throat still flares and my stomach is still knotting, but hopefully as the stress reduces so will these.
Our meeting with the social worker on Friday went well even though the sewage had backed up into our house Friday morning! Oh, yes it did. Our bothersome tree root struck again! LOL!!!
Hopefully life will get back to normal, though I am coming to realize that our normal means nothing is ever normal!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dodging Bullets

I think I finally realized what has been going on for the last two and a half weeks. Spiritual warfare. Guess I'm not real quick on the uptake. It does make sense though. I am supposed to present information about making adoption a reality at For the Children on the 6th. What better way to disable me than to feel horrible, have so much to do that it's hard to get my presentation ready, have sick, complaining kids...?! Even technology has not been friendly lately!
Please pray for us. I have canceled our appointments for the day to try and concentrate on getting me and the kids better, the rest of the stuff from our trip unpacked and getting the house presentable for the social worker's final home visit on Friday for our current adoption. Breathe. Just breathe. And clean. And unpack. And file. And work. Be in prayer the bullets are flying!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Stuck or Trust?

We all have expectations. Maybe we expect to have children or get a certain job or live in a certain manner or even that God wants us to do a certain thing. We have expectations of our children. We have expectations of our spouse. We have expectations of our parents. We might even have expectations that when we pull up to a light that soon it will change and we will be able to go.

God has expectations of us. "Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself". Fairly lofty expectations. Am I truly loving the Lord in all those ways? Is my neighbor getting any of my attention? Am I getting any of my attention?

I did not want to vacation in Colorado at this time of year. Snow was my major concern and being stuck indoors. It was also not a very convenient time, but I resisted and Mr. Incredible persisted. So to CO we go.

I expected to be able to go sledding on the mountain next to the condo when I saw snow on the ground. Denied. I expected to be able to sled down an 8 foot pile of snow in a grassy area. Denied. To say that my expectations were dashed would be an understatement. I didn't want to be here in the first place and now we were being legislated what we could do!? As far as I was concerned our vacation was smashed, stepped on, run over and then thrown into an odiferous landfill. I was mad, mad at Mr. Incredible for making us come, mad at myself for everything, mad at the kids for just being kids. My expectations weren't met and I had a choice to make. Were we seriously going to pack up and go home with 5 days left? Was I going to let my attitude control me or was I going to control my attitude. Yes, when your expectations aren't met it isn't easy.

Our vacation started off with not being able to find either of our two atlases. While loading the van, one child unscrewed the antennae and another child tried to "fix" it unbeknownst to us. We were puzzled by the noise of a vibration as we merged onto the interstate. A little way down the road Mr. Incredible saw 1" of the antennae hanging onto the area between the hood and windshield as I was whizzing at 70+ miles/hour and proceeded to hang out of the van to retrieve it. So we get to the exit after our entrance and pull off to reattach the antennae and try to get my phone to pull up a map of our route. Less than 120 miles down the road we hit torrential rains and are almost involved in an accident when trying to leave the C-F-A that we lunched at. Sunday- no sledding. Monday- no sledding. Tuesday- sledding in town with incidents. Wednesday- finish Hague training and go shopping for forgotten grocery items from Sunday. Thursday- great sledding in town. Friday- not so great really mushy snow sledding in town. Saturday- leave and bump a parking garage support; a Denver GF bakery and cafe is no longer a cafe we find out as we stop for lunch; T too small to slide down at FOTF. Sunday- take a detour to a volcano and enjoy a chilly hike down into the crater and around the rim, at least some of us.

I try to laugh at our vacation, and we did have funny parts. Like getting a floss pick stuck between my teeth while flying down the road. Or the tank of gas that lasted 456.4 miles = 7 hours. (I had determined to drive at least a tank on the way back, it took us three tanks to get there and only two back!?) Apparently I choose the wrong tank! LOL!! Why do things always happen when I'M driving?

So will I let ruined expectations and a vacation that all were glad to see over be the defining moment of my life? Or can a let my focus return to what God expects of me? Be stuck or trust?! I cannot let a few mishaps tarnish the incredible provision and safety that we DID experience. (loving God) I can continue to pray for the administrators of WP. (loving neighbors) I can also treasure the time with family and the break from my usual schedule. (loving myself)

Mr. Incredible now understands my hesitation in going in the first place and our marriage has had the chance for a lot more laughs. It really is hard to not laugh when you tauk wif a withp bacauth of de fwoss thtuck in your mowf (talk with a lisp because of the floss stuck in your mouth).

Note for posterity. Colorado is best enjoyed in September when lots of hiking can be done and little people have an outlet for their energy. :-)

Free Giveaway- Support Orphans!!!


GIVEAWAY!

This week, you have TWO chances to be entered in a giveaway for a FREE Lifesong for Orphans t-shirt! Lifesong will be debuting 2 new colors (chocolate brown for men and red for women) and are offering to give away 2 shirts before they are available for sale!

Here’s how to enter:
#1: Go to the Lifesong blog posting from Monday and guess how many children are no longer orphans that Lifesong helped to bring home through financial assistance.

#2: Leave a comment on Friday’s posting about how we can creatively work together as the body of Christ to care for orphans around the world! Here's what you do... share with us your ideas.  Leave a comment... maybe about a ministry your church is involved in... or a family you helped support financially to adopt.

 Maybe you have this aMAZing idea that has been just waiting to get out and be put in action.  Here's your chance!  Let's inspire each other to rise up on behalf of orphans!


“With this in mind, take some time to walk through your house and ask God what he would have you do with your part of the 200 million orphans worldwide, most of whom may never hear the gospel, much less have it lived out in a loving family of their own.” – Greg Lucas