Friday, June 7, 2013

Shoulding Myself

It's really easy to should myself.  Especially as I sit here at 4 in the afternoon still in my pj's...
Today, this week, the past almost month and a half have been so hard emotionally with all the physical sickness of the kids, my physical limitations and my continuing recovery from the c-section that I started shoulding myself.  I know I shouldn't, but I did.
I should not be so stinking tired.
I should have the house clean.
I should be functioning better on interrupted sleep.
I should be better organized and my to get rid of pile should actually be gotten rid of.
The laundry should be done and I shouldn't have to rewash the last load of the day before EVERY stinking day!
I should already be getting dinner made tonight.
I should home school better.
I should know what the school schedule for next year will be or at least know what curricula we are going to use.
As I said, I started shoulding myself.
It's not that I am not counting my blessings.  It's just that my 'blessings' are blessing me so much...
And today as I have the sniffles and sit on the couch in my pj's my dad is... wait for it... yep, taking a sick kid to the doctor.  Really?!  Come one!  Just because we met our out of pocket in March DOES NOT mean we live at the doctor's or that I want to.  (However, if you know of a doctor who does house calls, give them my number, I think I can keep them in business with our family alone at this point.) We've fought it for three days at home and even though he was on antibiotics for two of those days finishing up the round for strep throat, Z has an ear infection.  Seriously.
I am thankful that we have access to medical care.
I am thankful that we have access to pharmacueticals.
I am thankful that we can afford the insurance, doctor visits and prescriptions.
But I am NOT thankful to keep having sick kids. (T is doing his bronchial thing too boot)
So though I should be dressed and dinner should be making, it's just not happening today.  And you know what, we should survive and everything should be just fine. Eventually.

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