Survival of the Fittest (or Two More Days!)

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Breathe.  Just Breathe.

So ready for daddy to be home.  Only two more days, only two more days.

I usually am productive and get lots done while he is gone.  Not so much this time.  I have gotten 2 inches of EOB's for this year sorted and filed and worked on finding homes for the stacks of stuff in our room.  Still not done with that one.  My closet is not only for my clothes, but all my scrapbooking supplies, childhood memorabilia, presents, extra whatever that doesn't have storage in the house and also is our tornado shelter and NO my closet isn't THAT big.... (and I am not taking a picture), but here are some others of our week(s). :)

Bed booty, at least he didn't eat the cookies or the Larabar! Snuck into my room and retrieved the pantry key to accomplish this during the middle of the night.  ....Maybe that's the reason I am having trouble sleeping???

The wolf spider? that has taken up residence in our pantry

It really feels like survival of the fittest around here.  ....and I am not so fit since running out of time to squeeze in Zumba.  Maybe if I wrote down all that I did these past 10 days, I would feel a little more accomplished.

Okay here goes...

Pay bills
Schedule Dr. M- hearing aid coil
Write letter for doctor
Make sure doctor sends letter
fax 90 day info
refax 'missing' info
pain survey with L
Cancel DEXA
Cancel SR
Call Dr. B and set up follow up appt.
Go to follow up appt. with dr. B
New letter for doctor- they apparently can't cut and paste!
Make sure doctor sends letter- still waiting after a week...
Follow up email about post adoption follow up
Contact adoption agency about no report yet
File paperwork
Call insurance about claims
Deal with Medicaid x 5 (at least)
Dr. E- Exogen?
Call nurse about L's genetic test (4 calls)

Pick up E x1
Drop off E x9, dad has done this x7
cancel home warranty service call

M's script/pu and drop/ pu
Follow up with scheduling MRI x3 and still not scheduled
E's test results?
Science at A's
grocery shop
M's OT/ST x 4 (three so far)
M to Carrie x 1
follow up on tractor
L to ortho
Z to training
more follow up with NE 
milk run
chicken feed
drop off donation x 2


and then there was all the non-planned activities, like the washer flooding the laundry room or 4000+ tiny metal ball pick up (yeah, my first estimate was a little low); or the things you take for granted like feeding the kids (yeah, they like to eat...).

Dinner one day last week.  I was plumb wore out from paperwork.  LOVE Udi's GF hot dog buns!!!!

Small Metal Balls.  This is one of the sweeps of the entryway.  Can you believe this gets vacuumed everyday??? 

Here's a nickel to show you some relative size proportion, also found the nickel while cleaning.

What SMB do to a tub.  Found this in my bathroom after 9pm.  Did I mention he requires CLOSE supervision?

How Bon Ami helped. :) Happy momma!

And then there is all the extra time spent with the kids (rocking or talking or both) because they are upset that daddy is gone and maybe aren't even understanding their own feelings, but are acting out (way, way out).

I've been busy, but unfortunately it isn't with things that pertain to the house being clean or my room being better organized.  (I know in my head that life is not about these things.  However, when you can't find the info you need or trip hazards abound, it's easy to forget.)

You win some.  You lose some.  The battle of the paperwork is one I am losing.  Yes, it's survival of the fittest around here.  Hopefully I can survive two more days, only two more days, only two more days.
At least I've out lived the snake!

The rat snake that I didn't run over a couple of weeks ago, tried to eat one of our teenage chickens.  My dad intervened and Jeans is still alive, but the snake isn't.

J-daddy skinning the snake to make a belt...(eewww!)... I am in the safety of my parent's RV. :)

P.S. Yes, my parents are around and they help, like taking E to school so that I don't have to load everyone up to take her, since Mr. Incredible is gone.  But they are more like back up or special project people.  There when you need them and busy with their own stuff if you don't, ie. if there is an emergency (L falls and needs xrays) or if a snake needs to be killed or you need to learn how to skin a snake or occasionally watch the kids so we can go on a date; they also fill the voids, ie. not everyone wants to go on a therapy trip, and they make coffee for me. : P  But as with other things in my life, this too is a balancing act.

Happy Gotcha Day, Lollipop!

view full image

"Happy Gotcha Day!"

 

You are a joy.  A delight.  

We are so excited to be your mom and dad and watch you grow.  

You are LOVED.

A Stirring

Lately (as in the last week or so) I've been reading a book entitled 'Radical'.  I started reading this the day before Mr. Incredible left on his business trip.  In one of our Skype conversations Mr. Incredible shared things that God has started revealing to him... and so we started reading Radical "together" (at least as together as a couple with a half a world between them, a 12 hour time difference and six kids in the background can be).  LOL!  We don't know where God is leading us, but it would seem that He is leading us down a path of less of us and more of Him.

We are only two chapters in, but one word in the last page of our reading tonight hit me.  So I looked up that country and adoptions.  Me being me.  I can't help it.  Please understand that I am NOT saying that God is leading us in this direction.  Just doing some reconnaissance, if you will.  That country has come up several times over the last few years.  So I figured I would look... (again)... since I had heard of the requirements/programs changing.  :)  There appears to be a handful or so of adoption agencies working with that country, but as I scrolled down the 'results', I was sickened to also see a site promoting quality ab*rtion care in a nearby town. (on the first page!)

It reminded me of this.



Yes!  The best choice is life!  My mom chose life!  Life is goooood!  As a mom I agree.  As an adoptive mom, I can totally agree.  Adoption is a blessing!

...But how are we the church supporting those women who do choose life, but are not able/do not want to keep the baby?  I know that this will step on some toes and in advance, I am sorry.  But, people (the church) also need to recognize that an expectant mom that might have considered an ab*rtion and instead choose life and adoption, may not have the education, race or health history that you necessarily want in a birthmother.  Those precious babies also need to be placed in a loving, adoptive, Christian home that will love them no matter their IQ, skin color, deformity or ability.  This is a domestic and international need.  It's not always easy.  Personal experience talking here. 

However, if you have had the privilege of conceiving and giving birth did you know what you were going to get before you got it?  (Not talking boy or girl here.)  You took a risk.  Has it paid out?  Are you willing to take another risk? 

Or.  Birthmom (or dad) may have even tried to keep the baby and so now they are maybe a few days, months or years down the road.  A child protection entity may or may not be involved.  Baby (or teenager) and birthparents are not going to be reunited.  What are we going to do about that? 

These are real issues, domestic and international issues, that are affecting real people and have real consequences.  As a pro-life thinker, I have to consider the ramifications of what I am thinking about.  If I don't want women to choose an abortion, then how am I going to be part of the solution?  Or is the adoption of three special needs kids all that God expects from me?  (and taking care of our three birthsons too)  Is there something else?  What else?

There will always be more children who need a home and as Mr. Incredible has pointed out to me, "We can't adopt 143 million children."  (and I am quoting him)  But what does HE want from us?  The issue of choosing life is not one exclusive to our continent.  There is a stirring.  More people from more countries are adopting.  Domestic adoptions in foreign countries are increasing.  I have seen it with my own eyes the number of families in recent years who have turned their hearts toward adoption, BUT the need is so great!  Overwhelmingly great!  There is a stirring.  What does HE want from each of us?  There is a stirring.  What does HE want from me?

Lord, soften my heart so that I can hear your call.  Thank you for helping me trust you so I can follow you obediently.  May I decrease so that you may increase.


"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts." Proverbs 21:2 KJV

Sunday Fun

Apparently this is not a problem only at our house... One of Mr. Incredible's pictures from Hong Kong.  He suggested it as a sign for our boys' bathroom.

And yes, I know it's Sunday morning and we aren't at church.  While I was showering this morning (so we could go to church), a child, I am sure you can figure out who, even if you aren't a long standing reader, decided to empty his ankle weights (sealed, as in not supposed to 'open' ankle weights).  He is now playing 1000+ tiny metal ball pick up.  All over the house.  They don't hurt like Lego's, but are bigger than sand and terribly annoying.  And the vacuum cleaner doesn't pick them up.  It's a broom job.  Yep, it's happened before.  It's gonna be a looooonnnngg day.  And then there's the dusting he has to do to pay for the bottle of body wash he used to 'refresh' his bubbles in his bubble bath last night. -head shaking- and I won't begin with all the 'other' stuff.  Let's just say, someone is missing daddy. (and it's not just me!)

But since this same child was 'dismissed' from children's service last week for his inability to sit still, did I even really want to try to attempt church today?  Some things we may never know...

Borrowed From A Friend

by Brandee Brown on Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 5:09pm · I wrote this back in 2004, but still find it very relevant and inspiring today! I'm not gonna edit or change a thing...even names...so you're seeing it like it was originally (back in the Xanga days! haha)

PeaceMAKER or Peace keeper? 

The difference between a "Peace-Keeper" and the "Peace-Maker".

I, thank you Jesus, that I fall into the category of the latter....a full fledged Peace-Maker. Always have been, always will be. It is part of the personality that my Lord gave me to use in strength and service to Him.

Ask me where I found all of this and I can point you to numerous Teachers of the Word (look up Kay Arthur, Charles Stanley, or the late Adrian Rogers) whose doctrine is sound, personal friends, & mature Christians who have lived long enough to know the need and biblical call of the Peacemaker. And the inerrant, infallible, transcendent Word of God.

Jesus is the great peacemaker. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God," Jesus said in Matthew 5 when he addressed his disciples during "The Sermon on the Mount." Too many people think the Bible said Peace-Keepers. One of the greatest problems in the Christian Church is that we have men and women who want to be peacekeepers rather than the peaceMAKER that they were commissioned to be. The Bible is peace primer. 88 times in the NT the word "peace" is used. Every Epistle begins and ends with a prayer for peace. Christ's last will and testament to the disciples was,"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you" (John 14:27. It is not enough to be peace-lovers, or even peace-keepers---we must be peace-makers.

Every privileged nation, race or class naturally prefers peace-loving and peacekeeping to peacemaking. When faced with a grievance, the peacekeeper tries to keep things as they are. The peacemaker, on the other hand, tries to change things to arbitrate the hostility. That's our job as Believers!

Peacemakers are architects who build bridges with wood from a Roman cross.

The peace the world gives is peace by escape. This kind of peace secures a temporary tranquility by refusing to face reality. It pretends there is justice where there is injustice, love where there is lust, virtue where there is vice, and immortality where there is certain death. The peace Jesus gives is peace by conquest. It enables us to face dreadful circumstances without hearts that are troubled and afraid. We are content and confident because we have surrendered to Jesus Christ, the final winner who overcomes the world.

A peacekeeper:
Always guides conversations away from the subjects that might cause strife. Peacekeepers are compromisers. They avoid confrontation at all costs. They are the inventors of the "No Talk Rule." They are experts at changing the subject, and misdirecting the conversation. The peace attained by a peacekeeper is a pretend peace, it is a momentary peace. This peace is outward, external and incapable of changing anyone's heart or mind. The result of the "No Talk Rule" actually allows wickedness to continue. It keeps dysfunctional families in abusive cycles. The cure for all of this is that peace makers will step forward and say "There is a problem here, and we need to solve it now!" A peacekeeper, much like the rebellious Israelites in Jeremiah 6:14, who ignored Jeremiah's warnings hoping it would "just go away"....they cry Peace, Peace, when there is no peace.

A peacemaker:
Sees a problem and immediately goes to work to correct, reconcile and restore. They implement long lasting solutions. When peacemakers do this, they are often accused of being unloving, judgmental, trouble makers, legalistic, or intolerant. When a peacemaker points out improper behavior they are all too often vilified and the guilty party is given a pass. John the Baptist was a peacemaker and he lost his head for calling sin, SIN. Jesus is the Prince of Peace, but he called the Pharisees a den of vipers, and they crucified Him. Most of the 12 Apostles were martyred because they pricked men's consciences. (OUCH!)
Peacemakers do not keep their mouths shut when they see improper behavior. Nor, do they merely go discuss it among others. They go straight to the source, and boy, does it ever hurt at times. Lots of people FEAR the Peacemaker, and rightfully so....but the Peacemaker is doing what Jesus SAID to do in order to be called Sons of God. Peacemakers are confrontational, but they are confrontational in a loving way. (even if they don't have a sugar-drippy-sweet soprano voice!) Truth without love is HARSH, but love without truth is COMPROMISE.
Being a peacemaker is a hard but necessary process b/c we are dealing with the hearts of men and women. People do not , in the flesh, want to die to their own desires and they don't appreciate being confronted. {{i pray and beg God every single day that I might die to my own desires, agendas, intentions, and ignorance...may His will be done...B.B.}}
Peacemakers are pure in their motives. Isaiah said "woe is me" before he said "woe unto you" They are willing to move into conflict even when their flesh does not want to, because they love God and His word above all else. Peacemakers exhort and rebuke will all long-suffering in season and out of season (2Tim4:2-5. They are not appeasers. They will stand (when others may be compromising)...in order that there may be lasting change. They are willing to expose heresy and lack of faith. Caleb and Joshua were peacemakers!

I learned, in the past month,of the great truth spoken in John 15:18-20, where Jesus spoke about who if the world hated and persecuted Him, the world would also hate and persecute His followers. When we (i) am not being persecuted, then perhaps we (i) are not following His teachings. Peacemakers lead others to have peace with God. Peacemakers are willing to do the tough things. People who teach truth and apply it to the hearer's lives are true peacemakers.
In Matthew 5:13, Jesus speaks about those who are unwilling to shine His light of Truth: You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. {it is only good for paving streets} Salt is good. It prevents spoilage by preventing decay by bacteria, fungi, etc. Ultraviolet light also kills bacteria. Salt and light are confrontational with their environment because both prevent decay.

In Ezekial 3:18-19 God said, in-effect, Peacekeepers will be held accountable for the sins of the wicked because they did not warn the wicked; while the peacemakers will not be held accountable because they have done what God told them to do and warned the wicked.

 The question is do we love people enough to tell them the truth?
Jesus did, and His only crime was in telling the world the Truth.

I love you friends. Truly love you. Even when my blunt, sometimes harsh, Drill Sergeant personality doesn't show it. {{not to mention Assertive...haha, thanks Christian}} (hey~at least you never ever have to worry about me being fake!) Please bare with me and love me with all of my personality flaws and gifts.

God has shown me soooo much favor in the last 2 months!! Will you join me in praising Him for His faithfulness, mercy, justice, and goodness?

Need Advice!!!

I just found another empty shampoo bottle.  This one lasted less than a month (and considering the kids don't bathe everyday)...

If anyone knows a way to either do single servings of shampoo or teach a child to only use a quarter size (or less) for only your hair, I am all ears! 

We have dealt with this for years.  Unless we sit in the bathroom with him, he cannot stay on task and ends up using the shampoo as a bubble maker or some other nefarious use, not the intended use, making the bathroom into a lake or some other 'creative' mess.  We would love for him to be independent at bath time and the results of our attempts is high shampoo usage...  The other small caveat is that other boys use this bathroom and don't require adult supervision.  We already have to lock up the food and other areas of the house are off limits because of his lack of self control and impulse control.  I really don't want to lock up the shampoo too!!! 

HELP!!!!!!

And So It Begins, AGAIN!

Same exact letter in quadruplicate! Oh, oh! I know where we can cut the budget!!!!

...Stop sending letters in quadruplicate telling me that you are holding onto my tax return, because you need 2.5 months (at least) to review information that you lost the first time we submitted it (which would actually be the second if you count our tax return) AND you have the audacity to tell me that only one in 40,000 returns get 'reviewed', but the same thing happened to us last year! (I really just have to laugh and shake my head!)

Wonder if we'll get our return before November this time????

Gendo ...after

Well...
I don't even know where to begin.

Getting to the doctor's office was an experience in and of itself.  I ended up calling the police non-emergency line because of a 'reckless' driver... you should never be in such a hurry as to intentionally endanger yourself or others with your driving, especially if one of the others is myself or one of mine.  (just so you know :))  By the time I arrived at the doc's office (to find that they had moved) my migraine had started.  Fortunately, the doctors where still in the same building, same floor, just in a new unmarked office.  :)  Little Mama was seeing the Geneticist for a follow up.  We have already had blood drawn twice to rule out chromosomal somethings or metabolic somethings (though in Nov. she was 'borderline' for several metabolic disorders according to the nurse).  note: when I say somethings it is not because I don't know what they were testing for, but because they were testing for several things.  Some things I'd never even heard of before but could explain all the 'symptoms' we see, but we were negative or normal for everything, with one exception and that one wasn't even off the charts 'abnormal'...  So now we have to do a $1992 test for PKU DNA.  I don't know why heel pricks wouldn't suffice, maybe because she is almost five???  And insurance may or may not cover the cost... (head shaking)  But we need to rule out/find out what IS going on.  She also needs a sedated MRI.  (I DO NOT want a repeat experience of our sedated ABR)  Fingers are crossed and prayers are sent already that we can find a facility where it will be a positive experience.  The one 'diagnosis' that would explain her small head size, developmental delays, hearing loss and vision loss is not what is going on.  The geneticist is 'very concerned', but then why could we not do this testing before??...  I guess we needed six months in between to verify and have a baseline???  The geneticist wrote 4 or 5 diagnosis as justification for the PKU DNA test (so insurance might cover it), but it was the letters of just one that overwhelmed me.  My heart is still overwhelmed today. 

By the time that Z-man saw his endocrinologist I was shot.  I hadn't printed out any of the information backing up why we were giving him an herbal supplement to reduce his estrogen instead of the anti-cancer drug that the doctor had prescribed.  Yet, the doc didn't provide any of the 'short studies' showing the benefits of the cancer drug for treating a non-cancer patient.  Let alone that the long-term effects in adults have been studied (and aren't good), but the long term effects in children haven't and won't be... Did I fail to mention that if a drug has a side effect, our family will get it!?!  But his response was if we weren't going to follow his protocol, why should we see him?  Well why had we been coming for the last 2+ years (with him not prescribing anything!)?  I thought it was so we could be followed by a doctor who could be an asset!  I left feeling like a failure as a mom, a failure as an advocate and EXTREMELY hungry.

I stopped at Starbucks and got coffee.  I stopped at Granary and got some Kind bars.  The kids and I could go on a little longer.  My heart was breaking, but I held it together and didn't cry in front of the kids.  At some point I might be able to let go and cry.

Somewhere as I was entering the 'open' road I turned on the radio.  EVERY song I listened to on the way home (on two different stations!) reached out and reminded me that HE IS WITH ME.  This was the first one.

I felt like breaking.  God knew.  He sent a song to remind me that He doesn't give me more than I can take. He doesn't say if you follow Him life will be easy, but that He will be with you.


I came home to more... kid chaos, what I will refer to as 'other' and the general buzz of life around our house.


It is truly non-stop.  When it takes days for us to figure out when/how to take a few hours away for a date before Mr. Incredible leaves for China...  But it is the life HE has given me and I will rejoice in it.  I will stand and fight for what I need to, advocate as best as I can, LOVE HIM in all things and rest in HIS mercy.

He has given us each child in our family for a special reason.  He knows the end from the beginning.  He knows what is going on inside of each child, inside of me, with each of us.  I will continue to seek assistance from earthly physicians, but HE is the Great Healer and holds each of us in HIS HANDS.  He could speak the word and we could be healed, but then my trust might be in me and not on Him, which is where it exactly needs to be.

Going to the Gendo

"Lift high His Royal Banner, it must not suffer lost.
From victory unto victory His army we shall be.
Till every foe is vanquished and Christ is LORD indeed."

This song (or part) has been going through my head this morning.  We are similarly marching off to war (going to the doctor to find out what is going on with some children).  Though it is not a war with violence, it is a battle of finding out what is going on.  When you don't have any health history or family history and the first few years are sketchy...  Then again, we know the complete health history of one and still are not sure why this is going on.  So... ROAD TRIP!  (and hopefully we get some answers this go around)

Or maybe I should be singing,
(to the tune of Going to the Chapel)

Going to the Gendo
And we are gonna get tested
Going to the Gendo
And we are gonna get tested
Gee I love driving
And they're gonna draw blood
Going to the Gendo today!

I could use prayer for alertness, allergies, and clear headed thinking (especially when trying to talk to the doctor).

Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you, honey, for making our family possible so that I can be a mom.

The Remains

Farm life is different.

On Monday we had our first 'slaughter'. The white rooster is no longer with us in his former glory. But the chicken yard is a much happier place now, both for the chickens and the people who tend them.

I will miss the white rooster, and his antics. We was quite the crower and I must confess I enjoyed seeing him try to find out who was crowing back (it was me). LOL! I guess I have a pretty convincing crow! He would run all over the yard or stand at the fence trying to find the source. Good times.

He made for a good couple of dinners and this is the way it is when you live on a farm (or so I keep being told).

Bye, bye Rooster McGooster, you are not quite the bird you used to be. Thank you for the laughs and thank you for being our dinner.

Back Home

We made it home Saturday and made it to church on Sunday and celebrated a belated birthday for Mr. Z.

This week is off to a roaring start already, not really even anytime to post, BUT I wanted to say 'thank you' to all the people who stopped and asked us about Lollipop at church yesterday.  In a world filled with doctor appointments, broken bones and constant interruptions, it is sometimes easy to lose sight that others care.  Thank you so much for affirming to me through your hugs and encouraging words that there is life outside of our immediate situations.

This is the day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!

Today

13 years ago today our eldest was born.

7 years ago today we finally brought Mr.T home from the hospital.

...and today, after waiting her whole life, Lollipop got her first Pamidronate infusion.

It's amazing how life changes.

Wearing our Yellow!

Update

It does not appear from a quick view at the x-rays this afternoon that there are any new fractures from her slip off the rocking chair on Monday.

However our main goal in seeing the doc this pm turned out to be getting the cast off- mission accomplished! She had a nice bath tonight (we are learning to get those when we can) and we were able to get arm CLEAN!

We still won't know what we are doing next until we get through tomorrow. Please pray for clarity of mind for me. I had a headache most of the day today and really struggled to focus after the doctor said something that I wasn't prepared to hear. Stress is ever constant and we are all tired. Please pray for those at home as well. Some are not handling mommy and daddy being gone very well.

We have our yellow for wishboneday.com and our questions for the docs written out. Bring on the teams of specialists (and maybe some Starbucks! :)).

Be Blessed and be a Blessing!

We are HERE!

As we were landing last night a thunderstorm that was led by a LOT of lightening started rolling through town.

We found our accommodations and fell into bed somewhere around 1 am.

This morning started out a bit rough. Maybe due to lack of sleep. Maybe due to stress levels and an unfamiliar environment.

We ate lunch at Cheeseburgers in Paradise and made plans to go to the zoo after the x-rays and DEXA. On the way to the hospital I had an overwhelming urge to cry. This is still so overwhelming.

Even though we arrived before our scheduled time to radiology, we spent more than two hours there... BUT! Dr. E showed up in the x-ray room!!! WoW, THAT has never happened before! We are now sitting waiting to see the doctor, apparently we are seeing him today and tomorrow!?!

The zoo is pretty much out of the question for today now and part of me wonders if we have another fracture. Or maybe they are just removing her cast?... We will wait and see. Literally! :)