You Know ...When...

You know you can make a difference when:
You recognize the need.

You know you can make a difference when:
You have a friend who has fostered or adopted and you think, "I could do that!"

You know you can make a difference when:
Your own 32 cent coffee is more appealing than the expensive gourmet coffee because you can save/give the difference to make a difference in the life of a child.

You know you can make a difference when:
Paying retail for clothes is out of the question because all you can think of is how some children have no clothes of their own.

You know you can make a difference when:
You are willing to take on an extra job to pay for your adoption or help somebody with theirs.

You know you can make a difference when:
You go through foster parent/adoptive parent training.

You know you can make a difference when:
You see beyond the immediate gratification of your wants/needs to the life altering reality you could give a child.

You know you can make a difference when:
You complete that mountain of paperwork to begin fostering or the adoption process.

You know you can make a difference when:
You get beyond your own comfort zone and open up your heart and life to a hurting child.

You know you can make a difference when:
You adjust your life to accommodate the special needs of a hurting child.

You know you can make a difference when:
YOU have welcomed the least of these into your HOME, your FAMILY, your LIFE, your HEART.  (it might not always be easy)

You know you have MADE a difference when:
The change you have made is in you and you will never be the same again.


Creation Groans from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Please pause our blog music at right before you press play.

Beautifully Written

We get asked why.  Why have five kids?  Why foster? Why adopt?  Why adopt more?  It's hard to verbalize sometimes either due to lack of time, energy or zeal, but I came across this on another blog and had to pass it on.  It so fitly expresses why.

"Look after the orphan and widows in their distress"  James 1:27

Blah, Blah, Blah

The good news of Tuesday concerning the adoption was overwritten today with more news of paperwork not being done yet... in finitum, ad nauseum... 

And our internet is on strike.  I am only hoping the connection holds out long enough to post this.  It's bad, real bad... Feel like I'm living in the early 1900's, no cell service, no internet, no TV.

Miopia and a little news

Monday's post:

Miopia is near sightedness.  How near sighted we were when this adoption began.  How near sighted I continue to feel as we have been living literally 9 1/2 weeks waiting for tomorrow. (11 weeks since the Article 5)  For 9.5 weeks we've been unable to make long range plans (like more than two weeks in advance).  We "live" for each email from our agency waiting to see if we have travel approval.  A week ago we were told "very soon" and the last two emails (Friday and today) that I sent to the agency have gone unanswered.  GGGGRRRRRRRRRR!

It's at times like these that I lose my peace and quite honestly I've been struggling with depression.  The wait to have Lillyanna in our arms has been exceedingly long, since September.  Keeping up with three properties totaling 35.4 acres is daunting.  Not being able to change our legal residence because of the adoption and the adoption being drawn out is maddening.  There are so many "little" things that need to be fixed or done and I never have enough time to do them.  The thing that really eats me up is how China did everything in the beginning so fast and now when EVERYONE else is getting Travel Approval in three weeks or less we have been waiting MORE THAN NINE!!!!  (I know God's perfect timing :-))  But I am really wondering if China simply doesn't want us to adopt her and they keep dragging their feet.  The frugal part of me wonders if all the delays might make them drop the $5,300 orphanage donation fee (don't think it's likely, but maybe?! :-)).  Mr. Incredible continues to travel a lot, mostly day trips, but still very inconvenient (to me). 

So that's what our life looks like right now.  Not very pretty or glorious.  However I know as God continues to work in our muddy mess there will be a beautiful piece of pottery emerge.  He is the master potter and I'm (we are) the clay.

The devotional for today in Jesus Calling is:
"Peace is my continual gift to you, it flows abundantly from My throne of grace.  Just as the Israelites could not store up manna for the future but had to gather it daily, so it is with My Peace.  The day-by-day collecting of manna kept My people aware of their dependence on Me.  Similarly, I give you sufficient Peace for the present, when you come to me by prayer and petition with thanksgiving.  If I gave you permanent Peace, independent of My Presence, you might fall into the trap of self-sufficiency.  May that never be!
I have designed you to need Me moment by moment.  As your awareness  of your needdiness increases, so does you realization of My abundant sufficiency.  I can meet every one of your needs without draining My resources at all.  Approach My throne of grace with bold confidence, receiving My Peace with a thankful heart."
The scripture readings are, Ex. 16:14-20; Phil. 4:6-7,19; Hebrews 4:16

Tuesday's Post:
We still do not have Travel Approval, HOWEVER, we do know that we are now actually waiting to get TA in China.  Apparently the director of this department in China called our agency's office in China to let them know that they FINALLY had all the paperwork and they we REALLY are now waiting to get TA.  That all transpired on 4/12, so who knows when we we actually get it.  I am so glad that I stepped up and called a detail person at our agency, since I am a detail person and I have been speaking and emailing with an overview person.  So no great exciting news, but at least we know more of what is going on and that helps.  I guess being the first family in the ENTIRE WORLD to do a copy dossier with China has a few drawbacks!  Yes, not our agency, but of ANY agency in the world we are the FIRST.  Not sure I like being the ground breaker... :)

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is what was in our inbox this morning.  Our contact at our adoption agency let us know that SHE had been told that WE would get TA "VERY soon".  Now your idea of very soon and my idea of very soon and China's idea of very soon may all be different.  But it was good to get a positive report, the first in 9 weeks.  Now if only we could actually get TA and then travel at the beginning of May, she could be in our arms for her 1/2 birthday of turning four.
Maybe I might attack the packing again.  I just haven't had the heart to try to pack lately with the uncertainty of TA.
In other news, we are to get Mr. Incredible's Chinese Visa tomorrow and attend a workshop training on starting a foster/adoption support group on Thursday.

Oh What a Weekend!

The big boys participated in a bike-a-thon to raise money to send Chinese orphans to camp.  They raised enough by themselves to send one orphan to camp for a WHOLE week then mom and dad chipped in a little more.  They did an awesome job biking for almost three hours Saturday morning.  I did come to the realization that they need new bikes though.  The bikes look so big laying around the yard, or in the driveway or on the porch..., but with the boys on them... whole other story. 

Saturday afternoon was filled with final preparations for J's party and at 3pm the guests started arriving.  Only one van full got lost and they did finally make it.  I think the boys had so much fun tromping through the woods and almost everyone went home with a compass (the store only had 10 so brother groups shared).  There was an obstacle course (that J made with some direction and help), some orienteering through the woods and finally a bonfire and marshmallow roast! 

We had planned on Sunday being our usual Sunday, but M decided to liven it up a bit when he fell from his top bunk (he was climbing down, or standing at the edge).  He screamed but could still move his arm and there was no obvious deformity.  After church and him still favoring his arm, he and I took a trip to the urgent care center.  A two hour wait later and 30 minutes back in the room, we found out that he indeed had broken his arm, a buckle fracture.  So not clean through the bone, just on one side.  Not sure how that can be, but I saw it with my own eyes.  I called our pediatricians office this morning just in case we need to put a cast on instead of the splint.  Yesterday evening he was already talking about riding a bicycle or his scooter...

Life with M is NEVER boring! Though it is not ever an easy road, I am so glad to be his mommy.

Ready at ALL times

It's amazing, I called CPS today, about doing some training for our foster/adoption ministry.  And this afternoon... I get a call about a little baby girl who needs a home for the next couple of days!  (Sorry hon, I've been trying to call you!)  I guess God's finding a way to fill the time until we get Lilly! 

So thankful that I've learned to be flexible and willing to serve.

Someone to Consider

A Host Mother’s Plea
By Tiffany Taylor Wines ttaylorwines@orphanoutreach.org

When we adopted our children from Russia in 1996 and 1998 my husband and I had no idea how much our life was going to change. Parenting our children has been the biggest blessing and challenge of our lives. However, they are not the only orphans who have shaped our world. Immediately after returning from our first trip I was haunted by the faces of the children left behind. I starting looking for ways to give back and became very involved with a program collecting shoes for children in Russia. That volunteer job led to working full time in orphan ministry and eventually helping start a ministry, Orphan Outreach, four years ago. I have led many mission trips and taken my husband and both children on trips to serve in Guatemala. However, our greatest joy and heartbreak as a family has been hosting older children who were visiting the U.S. to raise awareness for adopting older orphans. 

Hosting a child from Eastern Europe was an awesome way to let our children learn more about their culture and also allow them to personally share their toys, rooms and hearts with a child who needed to learn what it was like to be part of a family. We have hosted four times and each time I have said that it was the hardest thing we have ever done. Children who come from hard places like an orphanage have so many issues very unique to their own situations. It was obvious each child had been hurt and they each dealt with that hurt in their own way. I also felt an instant pressure to show each child a loving family; I had to remember that did not always mean a “perfect” family. The pace of keeping up with the planned and surprise activities would always add a layer of complication to our already busy lives. But the hardest thing, by far, was falling in love with each child and not knowing what the future held for them.

Our first host child had extended family she was still close too (even though she was in the orphanage) so she was not placed for adoption. We still see and write this lovely girl and thankfully she is very involved with Bible study classes at her orphanage. She knows that our family will be there for her as she transitions out of the orphanage and into school. The second child we hosted needed to be placed in a family along with her older brother. It was a long process as the agency dealt with in-country slowdowns and accreditation. We are so thankful that they were placed with an awesome family in Texas and we have been able to see how they have thrived. The third child was quickly adopted and now lives happily in Houston. So that brings us to 2010 and Dimitry (name changed to protect the child).

Last summer, we spent a wonderful two weeks as his host family and loved experiencing Texas through his eyes. Dimitry was different from our other host children from the beginning. First of all, he was very easy going. He happily got in the car whenever we mentioned that it was time to go somewhere. He was so brave and never questioned where he was going! He did not have to be entertained. He was happy to sit and color, play with toys, video games or listen to music. He was honestly the first host child who got easier the longer he was in the house. It was obvious he liked having older siblings. He loved spending time with our 14-year-old daughter and running around with our 12-year-old son. It was great to see how much he wanted to connect with us! Dimitry was showing us things and making jokes all the time.

As we got to know him it was very obvious that he was very smart. It came as no surprise to us when we found out from the orphanage social worker that he had been tested and had a high IQ and that the orphanage where he lived was for the talented and gifted children. He would ask us about the value of a dollar and quickly convert the dollar to rubles in his head.  He was very curious and asked lots of questions. He had been taking English in the orphanage and he was eager to learn more. He had only been in the orphanage a short time but according to the caregiver he had made amazing strides and was making solid grades in all his subjects. His caregiver also said that the experience of being hosted in a loving home also had a huge impact on his personality.

His list of great qualities goes on and on: he was a good eater; he was kind and gentle to our pets; he loved entertaining us with magic tricks. He was even appropriately reserved with everyone in the family, but after he got to know us we got the best smiles and sweetest hugs from him.

So why is Dimitry waiting for a family? Only because he is a 10-year-old boy. Boys wait for families, even the fabulous boys. I have prayed and prayed for a family for Dimitry but honestly no one has even inquired about him since August. We received darling photos of Dimitry receiving the gifts we had sent him in November. He quickly wrote a note asking when we were going to visit. It breaks my heart to think of him sitting in an orphanage, anxiously waiting for a family to call his own. Please help me in letting others know about the amazing child. Maybe you are the family he is waiting for?

If families want to learn more about Dimitry, they can go to Dillon/Buckner’s Eastern Europe screening form at www.dillonadopt.com/EE_screen.htm to receive a password to view a photo and brief information on him. From this web page, families may also contact the Buckner Adoption & Maternity Services case manager for additional information and how to begin the adoption process to adopt Dimitry.

If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say...

it's best to not say anything at all.

That's why I've been quiet.  I can't be silent anymore though.  There are times with adopting a child that are blissful and wonderful, more wonderful than giving birth and then there are times in adoption that are just hard.  I want to be an advocate for more adoptions.  But, if I said it was all easy or that nothing bad ever happened, I would be lying.  Maybe the child dies before they are in your arms.  Maybe the birthmother doesn't relinquish rights.  Maybe there's an unexpected bump in the road that sends you careening off of a cliff and you are just trying to survive.

Today I have been fighting depression and anger at what is happening.  We have been waiting for TA since FEBRUARY 9TH our Article 5 was picked up January 31st.  This is really insane.  We had been expedited to this point and now when we are one step from having her in our arms, we come to a SCREECHING halt and wait.

I've been told I am a patient person.  I am here to say, I am NOT patient.  I am not happy- for me, my daughter, my husband and our family- this wait for TA has turned into ludicrous because NO ONE can say when it will end!  Meanwhile Lilly is isolated from the other children since her nannies fear another fracture.  Meanwhile M is being the biggest pain in the backside because we have been living in uncertainty for two months!  And meanwhile time, precious time, is being lost in helping Lilly to have a good quality of life now and in the future.

We have prayed for the adoption all along the way, daily, at least.  Over the course of this adoption my prayers have increased from daily, to hourly to a constant crying out to God, "How long must I wait?!  How long must she wait?!"  "Lord, we thought we were being obedient, what is happening?"  "FIX THIS!"

Psalm 119
⁸¹ My soul faints with longing for your salvation,
   but I have put my hope in your word ...
⁸⁴ How long must your servant wait?...
  
Isiah 40:31
" ...but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint."

I have felt so weary lately.  Weary from the bad attitudes of a certain child.  Weary from the adoption stalling out.  Weary from emotional drain of uncertainty.  Weary from praying and praying and praying and it seemingly being that God doesn't hear.  I KNOW however that HE DOES.  I KNOW that in HIS TIMING we will get Lillyanna.  I KNOW that GOD is ALL POWERFUL, more powerful than me, than communist governments, than brittle bones AND HE will bring Lillyanna home and HE will bring Lillyanna healing.  I KNOW these things, but in day to day life when the ocean waves are crashing over and you are an ocean away from your child it's hard to live these things and believe that it really will happen.