Friday, March 30, 2012

Sick

I've cared for kids with runny noses for the past week and a half.  Yesterday, the bug got me.  Stuffy nose, sore throat, body ache.  When I go down, I go down!  Nobody had it THIS bad.
I love my kids.  I love my parents.  And when I'm sick, I love that my parents can 'do' the kids appointments... Ah, time to go back to the couch and sleep with one eye open. :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Impact Zambia

Not everyone can adopt, but everyone can do something. Could you do this?...


Join us to IMPACT lives in Zambia...   
    

"Hi.  My name is Richard.  I am in grade 7.  I stay with my sister, Josephine.  I have three brothers and two sisters.  My other sister attends Lifesong and is in grade 5.  Her name is Emelia.  My mother stays in a village far away.  My father died in 2006.  Thank you for supporting me and may God bless you and add more days to your life.  My favorite subject is art."
Richard is just ONE of the 253 students that we are blessed to serve at Lifesong Zambia.  He is also one of the students that will be moving on to grade 8 this fall.  
Without the construction of new classrooms, Richard may join the 95% of Zambian children that are not able to attend High School. 
Will you join us in impacting the lives of children like Richard?
To add to the excitement--thanks to a generous donor, all donations will be matched up to $225,000!!
  
To join the Impact Zambia 100 team, email info@lifesongfororphans.org!

If you decide to join Impact Zambia, please mention that you heard about it from me, Jennifer Poorman.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Things Left Unthought

I used to be a planner.  Then this strange thing happened.  We started fostering and I learned our plans could change overnight.  I still planned, but learned to expect surprises occasionally and live with them.  But, we still had a five year plan and even discussed a 20 year plan.  I didn't have everything mapped out, but knew the general course and how to get there.  As more children and more 'abilities' have come into our family it is amazing that I no longer plan years out, months out, or weeks out.  Less than a year ago I could still plan months in advance and still sort of do.  We have appointments months from now on the calendar, and a family vacation might happen in September, but our life? 

We live moment to moment.  We never know when the next break will happen.  We never know when the breakdown will occur.  It would be nice to be able to live week by week or day by day, but then where would my dependence on God be?  Sometimes Mr. Incredible and I still talk about a five year plan, but usually end up off on some rabbit trail about the present (we no longer even think about a 20 year plan).  See if we live in the moment it makes it easier to handle all that comes our way.  If I stop and think about what all a typical day entails and all the stress that is ever present, it's easy to be overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of stuff to do. Overwhelmed at the complexities of life with children who have such different abilities.  Overwhelmed that God thinks I am the best mother for our children because I feel like such a failure.

I used to be a perfectionist.  Then God gave me my husband. Then son #1.  Then son #2.  8 foster placements.  Son #3.  Son #4....  Past: son #1 could pick up his toys at 9 months old (I have video to prove it).  And I thought that made me a 'good parent'!  Now: son #3 might remember to put his clothes on without them facing backwards.  And I don't care what way the clothes are facing as long as he is dressed!  I also now do not consider my children's actions or lack thereof as a reflection of me or my parenting ability. Very Freeing.  My house may not be as clean as I would prefer, but why stress about the floors because I know that M&M will find mud to play in everyday whether it's raining or not and a little dirt on the floor is not a trip hazard.

I used to take many things for granted.  Walking.  Now I thank God when Lolipop walks with her walker.  I pray when she stands without her walker or support.  I prayed and tried not to cringe today when she started to walk without her walker, arms flailing as she showed me just how much of a 'big girl' she was.  The spica cast is still fresh in my memory and if sitting down hard could break her femur, I try not to think what falling could do...

I try not to think about about what a fall would do because I know exactly what a fall would do.  Sitting, leaning, and walking have all caused her to fracture.  What if she falls?  What if someone drops her?  What if a child collides into her?  What if she's in a car collision? If I live outside of the moment these underlying stresses suddenly rush in on me. (especially when we travel and I'm the sole caretaker)  I don't live in denial, but I'm not going to focus on 'what if's' either.  I was recently asked if she has a 'normal life expectancy'.  It's a good question.  To which I don't know the answer.  Some people with OI live 'normal' lives, others are crushed and die during birth.  Though there are varying degrees of OI, there are also varying environments and attitudes.  She has survived losing her birth mother and father, four years in an orphanage and coming to a new continent and learning a new language!  ...What is 'normal life expectancy' anyway?  The Bible tells us that none of us are promised tomorrow.  In that light, she has a good a chance as any. 

I used to think you only had to have faith for the 'big' things.  Now I need faith for all things because every day is an adventure.  Kind of funny that her middle name is Faith... What a reminder!  As for the rest... We walk by faith, not by sight and some thoughts are just better left unthought.

Monday, March 19, 2012

One Tough Cookie

Early last week I noticed that Lolipop was favoring her left arm.  She never said it hurt.  Thursday I checked her grip and palpitated her forearm because she continued to favor it.  Her grip was less than her right hands and she complained that it hurt when I touched the area of a previous fracture.  Once you break a bone the area can continue to be painful with weather changes, as you grow, etc.  Wanting to be sure that it wasn't a fracture we went to get x-rays Friday (well that didn't happen, long, long story) and so this afternoon Lolipop and I ran to the ortho.  Yep, it's fractured.  Her left radius is fractured and separated, but it's not acute and if you didn't see the ace bandage that the ortho sent us home with would you even guess?!





 
We will be headed back to Dallas at some point later this week to see her orthopedic specialist.

Equipped or Called?

God Doesn't Call the Equipped, but EQUIPS the CALLED!!!!

That is how my life has been playing out lately. (sorry the posts have been so sporadic) My entire day is consumed with children, school, teaching to walk again, potty training (or at least talking about it :)), behavior management, carting to appointments...

January my medical mileage was 82% of the mileage in our Odyssey. February it was 75%. That is A LOT of doctor runs.

If you had asked me a year ago, before we got Lollipop if I was prepared I would have said, 'I think so, at least as best as I can be'.

Little did I know. LOL!

I was NOWHERE near prepared for the daily stress. I am a total flop at menu planning because my brain is constantly thinking about appointments, kids, school...and we don't even do anything extra curricular other than piano. I wake up everyday crying out to God to get us through another day (preferably without fractures) because I am tired, I hurt, have a headache, feel lousy OR even at dark thirty a child has made it clear that it will be a challenging day.

I do not feel equipped.  But, God did call us to adopt.  I am so thankful that HE equips those HE calls.  He doesn't give us everything we need at once, because then we might be too overwhelmed.  He gives us HIS GRACE to face challenges as we need it, cry out for it, intercede. 

I often hear from people how they couldn't do what I do.  You know what?  I can't do it either.  But through GOD ALL THINGS are possible.  I may not be as well equipped as I thought, but God has called our family to minister to those in need of families and those he calls he equips.

Thursday, March 8, 2012